I don’t want anyone to panic. Just, take your seats, relax, calm down. But I should probably tell you: I forgot about Michael Phelps’s face for a second.
The man has a body of a god. A dolphin god. One with flipper feet and hands that could turn any sandwich into a panini in under 30 seconds. So kudos to Head & Shoulders dandruff shampoo for picking 14-time gold medalist (!!!) Phelps to be the body of their new campaign. And my oh my, what a body this man has. It’s like one of those 3-D paintings, where if you stare at it long enough, other forms start to appear. And if you stare really long, you can almost see the wilting Beauty And The Beast rose.
Also kudos to Head & Shouldersfor having the brilliance for allowing him to lather up and shower for our viewing pleasure. It’s completely not creepy at all but you should probably scroll through it on your own, pretending he’s beside you. In the darkness, you’ll feel his arms around you. And when you lose your way you’ll close your eyes and he has found you.
Let’s watch him take a shower together, yes?
Here he is putting dandruff shampoo into his pizza paddle hands:
Now he’s lathering up, completely unaware of the cameras…
He actually looks kind of handsome here.
Now, the rinse:
GOD I CAN’T WAIT UNTIL THE SUMMER OLYMPICS EVERYONE.