Over the past few years, any time a celebrity couple announces that they’re breaking up, we’ve dug deep, deep into our skin-tight jean pockets and pulled out a crumpled, decaying piece of paper. Smoothing it out onto our mahogany writing desks, we brought this tattered shred up to our nostrils, inhaled its scent, and stared at it lovingly: A photo of Heidi Klum and Seal. It didn’t matter whose marriages were splitting up, whose infidelities came to light, whose drug and alcohol habits became too much to bear. As long as these two crazy kids could make it, life would remain as harmonious as the opening chords to “Kiss From A Rose.”
I don’t even watch Downton Abbey (I know, I’m taking care of it, relax), and frankly, that’s nearly enough for me to get out of bed tomorrow morning. All I know is: It’s British, it’s classy, and it’s 88 hours long, which is 88 hours I don’t have to think about the fact that love might be dead.
Who doesn’t love brunch? Hungover, lazy, late breakfast is a gift from God. I mean, look at those lucky people! They don’t give a f*ck. BRUNCH.
This dog is a genius, and an easy agreeable choice for something to live for. Unless you’re Eddie from Frasier, in which case this is your “Brooks Was Here” moment.
I mean guys, EARTH IS SO AMAZING! These penguins don’t even know who or what Seal is, except for the deadly predator version that will one day eat them alive. Cute!!
Nothing like the pain of getting tramped:)
The best show on TV right now? I’d say yes.
Fabric Softener smells sooooooo deliciousssss. I mean, let me tell you what I don’t like: Hard clothes. You know what takes care of that? Yes. Sometimes I drink a shnit of it before hitting the bars. My breath smells like the breeze.
What I drink after I hit the bars. Boxes of wine are genius: Portable, full of wine. This isn’t because I have a drinking problem, it’s because I have a making love to strangers problem. Speaking of which:
What else do we have if not for intercourse, which is completely awesome, whether or not Heidi and Seal are married? It’s the only reason not to get out of bed in the morning AMIRITE?