Thursday, February 2, 2012

New Study Proves That Bacon Stops Nosebleeds, Is Indeed Magic

We all know that bacon is literally magical and can do anything, but according to a new study at the Detroit Medical Center, “Anything” now includes “The ability to stop nosebleeds”:
A new medical study recommends a method called “nasal packing with strips of cured pork” as an effective way to treat uncontrollable nosebleeds…
“Cured salted pork crafted as a nasal tampon and packed within the nasal vaults successfully stopped nasal hemorrhage promptly, effectively, and without sequelae … To our knowledge, this represents the first description of nasal packing with strips of cured pork for treatment of life-threatening hemorrhage in a patient with Glanzmann thrombasthenia.”
So there you have it – finally, a justification for shoving bacon strips up your nose after years of us just doing that to get closer to the smell and looking foolish. Not anymore! “I have a nosebleed” BOOM – porknose. Everybody wins.

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