Tuesday, November 29, 2011

A Very Super Mario Musical

Everyone’s favorite American Sign Language gay pop music video cover artist, Mister Chase is following the success of his TGIF coverage with an unusual take on Lily Allen’s Fuck You.

And by unusual, we mean a Super Mario Bros. 3 themed music video complete with GOP talking heads turned Goombas like Michele Bachmann, Linda Harvey, and Mitt Romney.


Moral Systems in Twilight’s Breaking Dawn: Bestiality Only OK if With a Baby?

moral systems in breaking dawn, twilight moral systems, twilight pedophilia bestiality, twilight imprinting bestiality pedophila

Whatchathink squammies?

Viva Teddy!

In today's lesson taught by the Internet, we learn that when you try to steal a porcupine's corn on the cob he'll attack you with cuteness by sounding like an Ewok furiously m%sturbat*ng to Smurf porn in the middle of a windstorm. 

Adorable. Somebody give Teddy Bear his own show! Better yet, auto-tune this and release it as his first single.

And Now, You May Eat The Bride's Face Off

Homaygad!! No, this is not another video of a porcupine sucking on corn kernels. This is a preview from TLC's new special Virgin Diaries, which features two virgins, who have never kissed before, kiss for the first time on their wedding day. 


Do you want to look like a mama bird barfing up her entails into her baby bird's beak hole?  

Do you want to look like Jennifer Aniston making out with the hand she painted a groom face and a bow tie on? 

You know, we can joke all we want, but these two bitches found love and we're happy for them!

Monday, November 28, 2011

6 Things That Happened at the Twilight Wedding That Would Never Happen in Real Life (Besides Vampires Showing Up)

Before anything else.. I want to give you the chance to STOP READING (if you haven't seen the movie yet) and check out Breaking Dawn Part I first before reading this post :)


Twihards! Check out these unbelievable stuffs that went down..

The mother of the bride seemed surprised to receive the wedding invitation in the mail.
Yes, Bella lives with and is much closer with her dad. But COME ON. No bride I know would keep her wedding a secret from her own mother until wedding invitations went out. Plus, the wedding invitation text starts with “Together with their families.” If the families are mentioned on the invites, you’d think the mom would be in the loop.

Bella walks gracefully in gigundo heels at her wedding ceremony.
She seems to practice walking in her wedding shoes for the first time the night before the wedding. And even though it’s been said she can barely walk in sneakers, she’s as graceful as a runway model at her wedding ceremony. And speaking of Bella’s shoes…

Her tall, skinny heels didn’t sink into the ground.
Ask anyone who’s been to an outdoor wedding: the thinner your heels, the more likely you are to get stuck in the mud or the grass. But Bella’s spiky kicks are immune to the quicksandiness of the earthy wedding ceremony setting.

Bella’s wedding gown dragged on the grassy, muddy ground and didn't get dirty.
She walked slowly through a clearing in the woods, train sliding along the earth, and her wedding gown remained as pristine as the day it was sewn.

The bride left the wedding reception to, basically, talk to an ex-boyfriend.
Oh, that Edward. He’s so understanding of Bella’s special relationship with Jacob that he has little problem with returning to his wedding reception alone to give his bride some privacy with a former flame. Yeah, like any groom would be cool with that on his wedding day. 

Public frenemy number-one gives a wedding toast.
It’s no secret that Jessica Stanley and Bella are not the best friends they sort of were in the beginning of the series. It’s not surprising that she’s invited to the wedding, but it makes zero sense that she’d give a speech, let alone one in which she admits to having a crush on the groom and not understanding why he went for the bride instead of her.

Boo! I still love Twilight baby :P

In Case You Missed It, Scotty McCreery Proves He's A Graduate Of Ashlee Simpson's School Of Lip-Synching

Pretty much every single performer at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade moves their mouths to a pre-recordered track, because of sound issues or some sh!t like that. So it's sort of like an unofficial competition to see who can successfully LIP SYNCH FOR THEIR LIFE!!! and who lip-synchs as good as a walrus' A-hole. Scotty McCreery, the Howdy who won American Idol last season, threw himself into the latter category yesterday when his moving lips lagged 3 seconds behind his singing voice. (Yes, THIS is news.) 

Miley Cyrus Is A Raging Stoner

Somewhere up in a smoke room in heaven, Bob Marley is toking with the angels to burn away the memory of Miley Cyrus blowing out her 19 birthday candles on a cake with his face on it. The Daily posted this video from Miley's birthday party last weekend of her telling her friends that "you know you’re a stoner when friends make you a Bob Marley cake — you know you smoke way too much effin’ weed.” 

Miley needs to keep her weed smoking ways to herself before she really ruins it for everyone..

Just for laughs..


Happy Monday everybody :)

Friday, November 25, 2011

50 Famous Lines from Pinoy Movies

(SPOT.ph) You've probably heard them a million times before. Some you know by heart, others you can’t even imagine existed (look for Bella Flores’s contribution to this list). After all, delivering these so-called Pinoy movie lines with much gusto (and the occasional raised eyebrow) have played an integral part in the momentary realization of your secret desire: an over-the-top, dramatically scripted teleserye-esque life. And don’t even bother denying it!

From the elite circle of cinematic gems such as Sharon Cuneta, Vilma Santos, and the perennially controversial Nora Aunor, to today's fresh roster of big-screen kings and queens like John Lloyd Cruz, Bea Alonzo, and Kim Chiu, this list compiles the most famous movie lines that have left the careers of those who uttered them forever immortalized in Pinoy pop culture. How many of these quotable quotes have you heard, and how many have you, er, used?

"You're nothing but a second-rate, trying hard copycat!"
- Cherie Gil, Bituing Walang Ningning (1985)

"Walang himala! Ang himala ay nasa puso ng tao!”
- Nora Aunor, Himala (1982)

"My brother is not a pig! Ang kapatid ko ay tao, hindi baboy damo!"
- Nora Aunor, Minsa'y Isang Gamugamo (1976)

"Para kang karinderyang bukas sa lahat ng gustong kumain."
- Vilma Santos, Palimos ng Pag-ibig (1985)

"Akala mo lang wala... pero meron! Meron! Meron!"
- Carlo Aquino, Bata, Bata...Paano Ka Ginawa? (1998)

"Isang bala ka lang.”
- Fernando Poe Jr., Isang Bala Ka Lang (1983)

"Once, twice, thrice, gaano ba kadalas ang minsan?"
- Hilda Koronel, Gaano Kadalas ang Minsan (1982)

"Ikaw pala. Ikaw pala ang sinasabi ng asawa ko na asawa mo na asawa ng bayan!"
- Laurice Guillen, Nagalit ang Buwan sa Haba ng Gabi (1983)

"Trabaho lang ito, walang personalan."
- Rudy Fernandez, Markang Bungo (1991)

“Mahal mo ba ako dahil kailangan mo ako, o kailangan mo ako kaya mahal mo ako?”
- Claudine Barretto, Milan (2004)

"Ayoko ng tinatapakan ako, ayoko ng masikip, ayoko ng mabaho, ayoko ng walang tubig, ayoko ng walang pagkain, ayoko ng putik!"
- Maricel Soriano, Kaya Kong Abutin ang Langit (1984)

"Hayop... Hayuuup... Hayuuupppp!"
- Nora Aunor, Ina Ka ng Anak Mo (1979)

"Si Val! Si Val! Puro na lang si Val! Si Val na walang malay!"
- Vilma Santos, Saan Nagtatago ang Pag-ibig? (1987)

"Sabel! This must be love!"
- Carmi Martin, Working Girls (1986)

"Gutay-gutay na ang katawan n'yo... pati na ang kaluluwa n'yo, gutay-gutay na rin!"
- Sharon Cuneta, Pasan Ko ang Daigdig (1987)

“Ding, ang bato!”
- Vilma Santos, Lipad, Darna, Lipad (1973)

FPJ: "Ang problema sa'yo maaga kang ipinanganak!"
Sharon: "Ang problema naman sa'yo huli kang ipinanganak!"
- Sharon Cuneta and Fernando Poe Jr., Kahit Konting Pagtingin (1990)

“I was never your partner. I'm just your wife… kaya di mo ako nirirespeto.”
- Sharon Cuneta, Madrasta (1996)

Maricel: “May relasyon ba kayo ng asawa ko?”
Zsazsa: “Relasyon?”
Maricel: “Relasyon. Querida, Kabit, No. 2, Mistress… relasyon.”
Zsazsa: “Terry…”
Maricel: “Wag mo akong ma-Terry, Terry. Iyong tanong ko ang sagutin mo. Are you f---ing my husband?”
Zsazsa: “Minsan!”
- Maricel Soriano and Zsazsa Padilla, Minsan Lang Kita Iibigin (1993)

"Simple lang naman ang hinihingi ko. Kung hindi mo ako marespeto bilang asawa, respetuhin mo naman ako bilang kaibigan. Kung hindi naman, respetuhin mo ako bilang tao."
- Vilma Santos, Relasyon (1982)

Bambi: “Bitch!”
Jennifer: “Double bitch!”
Jonas: “Rub a dub dub, two bitches in a tub!”
- Bambi Arambulo, Jennifer Cortez, and Jonas Sebastian, Temptation Island (1980)

“I… did not kill… anybody!”
- Nora Aunor, Flor Contemplacion The Movie (1995)

“Oo, inaamin ko, saging lang kami. Pero maghanap ka ng puno sa buong Pilipinas, saging lang ang may puso! Saging lang ang may puso!”
-  Mark Lapid, Apoy sa Dibdib ng Samar (2006)

"Get out of my house. I don't need a parasite!"
- Maricel Soriano, Separada (1994)

“Oh yes, kaibigan mo ako. Kaibigan mo lang ako... And I'm so stupid to make the biggest mistake of falling in love with my best friend.”
- Jolina Magdangal, Labs Kita… Okay Ka Lang? (1998)

“Syinota mo ako eh, syinota mo ang best friend mo!”
- Kim Chiu, Paano na Kaya (2010)

"Oo, Ate! Oo, Ate… Puro na lang ako oo, Ate! Para akong manikang de susi!"
- Sharon Cuneta, Nakagapos na Puso (1986)

"Ang mga tala… mataas, mahirap maabot. Pero ipinapangako ko, Inay… bukas, luluhod ang mga tala!"
- Sharon Cuneta, Bukas Luluhod Ang Mga Tala (1984)

"Ako legal wife!"
- Zsazsa Padilla, Mano Po 2 (2003); Mano Po 4: Ako Legal Wife (2005)

“Noong una, hinangaan kita. Pero nang makilala kita, sinabi ko sa sarili ko na hindi lang kita papantayan, lalampasan pa kita!"
-  Sharon Cuneta, Bituing Walang Ningning (1985)

"Starzan punta ilog... hugas itlog!"
- Joey de Leon, Starzan: Shouting Star Of The Jungle (1989)

“Walang tubig, walang pagkain. Eh ‘di magsayaw na lang tayo.”
- Azenith Briones, Temptation Island (1980)

“She loved me at my worst. You had me at my best, but binalewala mo lang ang lahat… And you chose to break my heart.”
- John Lloyd Cruz, One More Chance (2007)

“Apir, apir, apir! Hindi na uso yan! Wisik wisik na lang, masdan mo ang beauty ko! Tataas ang kilay mo!”
- Angelica Panganiban, Here Comes the Bride (2010)

“I don't deserve to be treated like this. I care about my job, sir. I care about you.”
- Sharon Cuneta, Caregiver (2008)

“The business… is very good. And the office… is very big. And the bank… is very nice.”
- Eugene Domingo, Kimmy Dora: Kambal sa Kiyeme (2009)

“Old. Musty. Falling apart. Not exactly my type.”
- Maricar Reyes, Miss You Like Crazy (2010)

“Ang hirap sa'yo, sala ka sa init, sala ka sa lamig. Isinusuka ka ng Diyos, iniluluwa ka ng langit.”
- Vilma Santos, T-Bird at Ako (1982)

"Katarungan para kay Ka Dencio!”
- Vilma Santos, Sister Stella L. (1984)

“Kasi ang totoo, umaasa pa rin akong sabihin mo: Sana ako pa rin. Ako na lang. Ako na lang ulit.”
- Bea Alonzo, One More Chance (2007)

"Ito ang tandaan mo, Jeffrey Carbonell, babalik ako sa itaas at pag nasa itaas na ako, duduraan kita!"
- Nora Aunor, I Can't Stop Loving You (1985)

“Ligaya… Ligaya ang itawag mo sa akin. ‘Yan ang trabaho ko, nagbibigay ng aliw.”
- Rosanna Roces, Ligaya ang Itawag Mo sa Akin (1997)

“Diligin mo ng suka ang tuyo kong lumpia!"
- Bella Flores, Patigasan Ang Labanan (1990)

“Ang mundo ay isang malaking Quiapo. Maraming snatcher, maaagawan ka. Lumaban ka!”
- Carmi Martin, No Other Woman (2011)

“Erase! Erase! Erase!”
- Maricel Soriano, Kung Ayaw Mo, Huwag Mo (1998)

“Charoterang sprikitik, umappear ka vakler. Magpafeel, magpasense, ditey sa baler. Witiz shokoley ang udangchi ditey. Sa fezlaboom mo mars na super kalurkhey!”
- Séance scene, Zombadings: Patayin sa Shokot si Remington (2011)

“I-pack up mo si Lucy Torres,  ilabas mo na si Gretchen Barretto, ako na ang bahala sa red stilletos mo.”
- Carmi Martin, No Other Woman (2011)

Rene: "Cheetaehhh... ganda lalake!"
(Echo): "Ulol! Sinungaling! Panget! Panget!"
- Rene Requiestas, Cheeta-eh Ganda Lalake (1991)

"Wala akong pakialam… ibalik mo sa akin si Jun-jun. Ibalik mo sa akin ang anak ko! Ibalik mo sa akin si Jun-jun. Ibalik mo ang... ahhhhh!"
- Vilma Santos, Paano Ba ang Mangarap? (1983)

“Kung hindi tayo kikilos, sino ang kikilos? Kung hindi ngayon, kailan pa?”
- Tony Santos Sr., Sister Stella L.