Thursday, February 2, 2012

50 Reasons The Oscars Don’t Matter Anymore

The Academy Award nominations were announced, and we couldn’t help but notice an extreme oversight: No mention of Michael Fassbender’s amazing work in the sex-fueled thriller Shame. Now if you know me, and your name is Michael Fassbender, than this is a dream and I should probably gather my things and leave before he wakes up. If this is real life, however, then you know that my love for him is as infinite as his icy blue gaze. And his penis’ star turn in Shame should have easily nabbed him a nomination, if only for the benefit of Billy Crystal’s team of jokewriters.

The Oscars have lost their meaning. And here are 50 Reasons Why. And Fassy, if you’re reading this, I’m just making coffee in the other room. Be back in a second baaabe. *leaves rose on pillow*

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