Friday, December 23, 2011

30 Things to Start Doing for Yourself

30 Things to Start Doing for Yourself
Remember today, for it is the beginning.
Today marks the start of a brave new future.
Here it is, a positive ‘to-do’ list for the upcoming year – 30 things to start doing for yourself:
  1. Start spending time with the right people. – These are the people you enjoy, who love and appreciate you, and who encourage you to improve in healthy and exciting ways.  They are the ones who make you feel more alive, and not only embrace who you are now, but also embrace and embody who you want to be, unconditionally.
  2. Start facing your problems head on. – It isn’t your problems that define you, but how you react to them and recover from them.  Problems will not disappear unless you take action.  Do what you can, when you can, and acknowledge what you’ve done.  It’s all about taking baby steps in the right direction, inch by inch.  These inches count, they add up to yards and miles in the long run.
  3. Start being honest with yourself about everything. – Be honest about what’s right, as well as what needs to be changed.  Be honest about what you want to achieve and who you want to become.  Be honest with every aspect of your life, always.  Because you are the one person you can forever count on.  Search your soul, for the truth, so that you truly know who you are.  Once you do, you’ll have a better understanding of where you are now and how you got here, and you’ll be better equipped to identify where you want to go and how to get there.  
  4. Start making your own happiness a priority. – Your needs matter.  If you don’t value yourself, look out for yourself, and stick up for yourself, you’re sabotaging yourself.  Remember, it IS possible to take care of your own needs while simultaneously caring for those around you.  And once your needs are met, you will likely be far more capable of helping those who need you most.
  5. Start being yourself, genuinely and proudly. – Trying to be anyone else is a waste of the person you are.  Be yourself.  Embrace that individual inside you that has ideas, strengths and beauty like no one else.  Be the person you know yourself to be – the best version of you – on your terms.  Above all, be true to YOU, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.
  6. Start noticing and living in the present. – Right now is a miracle.  Right now is the only moment guaranteed to you.  Right now is life.  So stop thinking about how great things will be in the future.  Stop dwelling on what did or didn’t happen in the past.  Learn to be in the ‘here and now’ and experience life as it’s happening.  Appreciate the world for the beauty that it holds, right now.
  7. Start valuing the lessons your mistakes teach you. – Mistakes are okay; they’re the stepping stones of progress.  If you’re not failing from time to time, you’re not trying hard enough and you’re not learning.  Take risks, stumble, fall, and then get up and try again.  Appreciate that you are pushing yourself, learning, growing and improving.  Significant achievements are almost invariably realized at the end of a long road of failures.  One of the ‘mistakes’ you fear might just be the link to your greatest achievement yet.
  8. Start being more polite to yourself. – If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend?  The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.  You must love who you are or no one else will.
  9. Start enjoying the things you already have. – The problem with many of us is that we think we’ll be happy when we reach a certain level in life – a level we see others operating at – your boss with her corner office, that friend of a friend who owns a mansion on the beach, etc.  Unfortunately, it takes awhile before you get there, and when you get there you’ll likely have a new destination in mind.  You’ll end up spending your whole life working toward something new without ever stopping to enjoy the things you have now.  So take a quiet moment every morning when you first awake to appreciate where you are and what you already have.
  10. Start creating your own happiness. – If you are waiting for someone else to make you happy, you’re missing out.  Smile because you can.  Choose happiness.  Be the change you want to see in the world.  Be happy with who you are now, and let your positivity inspire your journey into tomorrow.  Happiness is often found when and where you decide to seek it.  If you look for happiness within the opportunities you have, you will eventually find it.  But if you constantly look for something else, unfortunately, you’ll find that too.  
  11. Start giving your ideas and dreams a chance. – In life, it’s rarely about getting a chance; it’s about taking a chance.  You’ll never be 100% sure it will work, but you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work.  Most of the time you just have to go for it!  And no matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should be.  Either you succeed or you learn something.  Win-Win.
  12. Start believing that you’re ready for the next step. – You are ready!  Think about it.  You have everything you need right now to take the next small, realistic step forward.  So embrace the opportunities that come your way, and accept the challenges – they’re gifts that will help you to grow.
  13. Start entering new relationships for the right reasons. – Enter new relationships with dependable, honest people who reflect the person you are and the person you want to be.  Choose friends you are proud to know, people you admire, who show you love and respect – people who reciprocate your kindness and commitment.  And pay attention to what people do, because a person’s actions are much more important than their words or how others represent them.
  14. Start giving new people you meet a chance. – It sounds harsh, but you cannot keep every friend you’ve ever made.  People and priorities change.  As some relationships fade others will grow.  Appreciate the possibility of new relationships as you naturally let go of old ones that no longer work.  Trust your judgment.  Embrace new relationships, knowing that you are entering into unfamiliar territory.  Be ready to learn, be ready for a challenge, and be ready to meet someone that might just change your life forever.
  15. Start competing against an earlier version of yourself. – Be inspired by others, appreciate others, learn from others, but know that competing against them is a waste of time.  You are in competition with one person and one person only – yourself.  You are competing to be the best you can be.  Aim to break your own personal records.
  16. Start cheering for other people’s victories. – Start noticing what you like about others and tell them.  Having an appreciation for how amazing the people around you are leads to good places – productive, fulfilling, peaceful places.  So be happy for those who are making progress.  Cheer for their victories.  Be thankful for their blessings, openly.  What goes around comes around, and sooner or later the people you’re cheering for will start cheering for you.
  17. Start looking for the silver lining in tough situations. – When things are hard, and you feel down, take a few deep breaths and look for the silver lining – the small glimmers of hope.  Remind yourself that you can and will grow stronger from these hard times.  And remain conscious of your blessings and victories – all the things in your life that are right.  Focus on what you have, not on what you haven’t.
  18. Start forgiving yourself and others. – We’ve all been hurt by our own decisions and by others.  And while the pain of these experiences is normal, sometimes it lingers for too long.  We relive the pain over and over and have a hard time letting go.  Forgiveness is the remedy.  It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened.  It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life.
  19. Start helping those around you. – Care about people.  Guide them if you know a better way.  The more you help others, the more they will want to help you.  Love and kindness begets love and kindness.  And so on and so forth.
  20. Start listening to your own inner voice. – If it helps, discuss your ideas with those closest to you, but give yourself enough room to follow your own intuition.  Be true to yourself.  Say what you need to say.  Do what you know in your heart is right.
  21. Start being attentive to your stress level and take short breaks. – Slow down.  Breath.  Give yourself permission to pause, regroup and move forward with clarity and purpose.  When you’re at your busiest, a brief recess can rejuvenate your mind and increase your productivity.  These short breaks will help you regain your sanity and reflect on your recent actions so you can be sure they’re in line with your goals.
  22. Start noticing the beauty of small moments. – Instead of waiting for the big things to happen – marriage, kids, big promotion, winning the lottery – find happiness in the small things that happen every day.  Little things like having a quiet cup of coffee in the early morning, or the delicious taste and smell of a homemade meal, or the pleasure of sharing something you enjoy with someone else, or holding hands with your partner.  Noticing these small pleasures on a daily basis makes a big difference in the quality of your life.
  23. Start accepting things when they are less than perfect. – Remember, ‘perfect’ is the enemy of ‘good.’  One of the biggest challenges for people who want to improve themselves and improve the world is learning to accept things as they are.  Sometimes it’s better to accept and appreciate the world as it is, and people as they are, rather than to trying to make everything and everyone conform to an impossible ideal.  No, you shouldn’t accept a life of mediocrity, but learn to love and value things when they are less than perfect.
  24. Start working toward your goals every single day. – Remember, the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.  Whatever it is you dream about, start taking small, logical steps every day to make it happen.  Get out there and DO something!  The harder you work the luckier you will become.  While many of us decide at some point during the course of our lives that we want to answer our calling, only an astute few of us actually work on it.  By ‘working on it,’ I mean consistently devoting oneself to the end result.  
  25. Start being more open about how you feel. – If you’re hurting, give yourself the necessary space and time to hurt, but be open about it.  Talk to those closest to you.  Tell them the truth about how you feel.  Let them listen.  The simple act of getting things off your chest and into the open is your first step toward feeling good again.
  26. Start taking full accountability for your own life. – Own your choices and mistakes, and be willing to take the necessary steps to improve upon them.  Either you take accountability for your life or someone else will.  And when they do, you’ll become a slave to their ideas and dreams instead of a pioneer of your own.  You are the only one who can directly control the outcome of your life.  And no, it won’t always be easy.  Every person has a stack of obstacles in front of them.  But you must take accountability for your situation and overcome these obstacles.  Choosing not to is choosing a lifetime of mere existence.
  27. Start actively nurturing your most important relationships. – Bring real, honest joy into your life and the lives of those you love by simply telling them how much they mean to you on a regular basis.  You can’t be everything to everyone, but you can be everything to a few people.  Decide who these people are in your life and treat them like royalty.  Remember, you don’t need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends you can be certain of.
  28. Start concentrating on the things you can control. – You can’t change everything, but you can always change something.  Wasting your time, talent and emotional energy on things that are beyond your control is a recipe for frustration, misery and stagnation.  Invest your energy in the things you can control, and act on them now.
  29. Start focusing on the possibility of positive outcomes. – The mind must believe it CAN do something before it is capable of actually doing it.  The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing, positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful.  Listen to your self-talk and replace negative thoughts with positive ones.  Regardless of how a situation seems, focus on what you DO WANT to happen, and then take the next positive step forward.  No, you can’t control everything that happens to you, but you can control how you react to things.  Everyone’s life has positive and negative aspects – whether or not you’re happy and successful in the long run depends greatly on which aspects you focus on.
  30. Start noticing how wealthy you are right now. – Henry David Thoreau once said, “Wealth is the ability to fully experience life.”  Even when times are tough, it’s always important to keep things in perspective.  You didn’t go to sleep hungry last night.  You didn’t go to sleep outside.  You had a choice of what clothes to wear this morning.  You hardly broke a sweat today.  You didn’t spend a minute in fear.  You have access to clean drinking water.  You have access to medical care.  You have access to the Internet.  You can read.  Some might say you are incredibly wealthy, so remember to be grateful for all the things you do have.

95 Questions to Help You Find Meaning and Happiness

At the cusp of a new day, week, month or year, most of us take a little time to reflect on our lives by looking back over the past and ahead into the future.  We ponder the successes, failures and standout events that are slowly scripting our life’s story.  This process of self-reflection helps us maintain a conscious awareness of where we’ve been and where we intend to go.  It is pertinent to the organization and preservation of our long-term goals and happiness.

The questions below will help you with this process.  Because when it comes to finding meaning in life, asking the right questions is the answer.
  1. In one sentence, who are you?
  2. Why do you matter?
  3. What is your life motto?
  4. What’s something you have that everyone wants?
  5. What is missing in your life?
  6. What’s been on your mind most lately?
  7. Happiness is a ________?
  8. What stands between you and happiness?
  9. What do you need most right now?
  10. What does the child inside you long for?
  11. What is one thing right now that you are totally sure of?
  12. What’s been bothering you lately?
  13. What are you scared of?
  14. What has fear of failure stopped you from doing?
  15. What will you never give up on?
  16. What do you want to remember forever?
  17. What makes you feel secure?
  18. Which activities make you lose track of time?
  19. What’s the most difficult decision you’ve ever made?
  20. What’s the best decision you’ve ever made?
  21. What are you most grateful for?
  22. What is worth the pain?
  23. In order of importance, how would you rank: happiness, money, love, health, fame?
  24. What is something you’ve always wanted, but don’t yet have?
  25. What was the most defining moment in your life during this past year?
  26. What’s the number one change you need to make in your life in the next twelve months?
  27. What’s the number one thing you want to achieve in the next five years?
  28. What is the biggest motivator in your life right now?
  29. What will you never do?
  30. What’s something you said you’d never do, but have since done?
  31. What’s something new you recently learned about yourself?
  32. What do you sometimes pretend to understand that you really do not?
  33. In one sentence, what do you wish for your future self?
  34. What worries you most about the future?
  35. When you look into the past, what do you miss most?
  36. What’s something from the past that you don’t miss at all?
  37. What recently reminded you of how fast time flies?
  38. What is the biggest challenge you face right now?
  39. In one word, how would you describe your personality?
  40. What never fails to frustrate you?
  41. What are you known for by your friends and family?
  42. What’s something most people don’t know about you?
  43. What’s a common misconception people have about you?
  44. What’s something a lot of people do that you disagree with?
  45. What’s a belief you hold with which many people disagree?
  46. What’s something that’s harder for you than it is for most people?
  47. What are the top three qualities you look for in a friend?
  48. If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend?
  49. When you think of ‘home,’ what, specifically, do you think of?
  50. What’s the most valuable thing you own?
  51. If you had to move 3000 miles away, what would you miss most?
  52. What would make you smile right now?
  53. What do you do when nothing else seems to make you happy?
  54. What do you wish did not exist in your life?
  55. What should you avoid to improve your life?
  56. What is something you would hate to go without for a day?
  57. What’s the biggest lie you once believed was true?
  58. What’s something bad that happened to you that made you stronger?
  59. What’s something nobody could ever steal from you?
  60. What’s something you disliked when you were younger that you truly enjoy today?
  61. What are you glad you quit?
  62. What do you need to spend more time doing?
  63. What are you naturally good at?
  64. What have you been counting or keeping track of recently?
  65. What has the little voice inside your head been saying lately?
  66. What’s something you should always be careful with?
  67. What should always be taken seriously?
  68. What should never be taken seriously?
  69. What are three things you can’t get enough of?
  70. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
  71. What fascinates you?
  72. What’s the difference between being alive and truly living?
  73. What’s something you would do every day if you could?
  74. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
  75. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
  76. What makes you feel incomplete?
  77. When did you experience a major turning point in your life?
  78. What or who do you wish you lived closer to?
  79. If you had the opportunity to get a message across to a large group of people, what would your message be?
  80. What’s something you know you can count on?
  81. What makes you feel comfortable?
  82. What’s something about you that has never changed?
  83. What will be different about your life in exactly one year?
  84. What mistakes do you make over and over again?
  85. What do you have a hard time saying “no” to?
  86. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
  87. What’s something that used to scare you, but no longer does?
  88. What promise to yourself do you still need to fulfill?
  89. What do you appreciate most about your current situation?
  90. What’s something simple that makes you smile?
  91. So far, what has been the primary focus of your life?
  92. How do you know when it’s time to move on?
  93. What’s something you wish you could do one more time?
  94. When you’re 90-years-old, what will matter to you the most?
  95. What would you regret not fully doing, being, or having in your life?                                                                                                                                              May you find the answers to these questions and the TRUE meaning of CHRISTmas..   God bless Squammy readers :) Enjoy the Holidays!

The Photoshop Awards: The 2011 Kardashian Khristmas Kard


What's that saying? You can Photoshop a skid mark, but it's still a skid mark. The Kardashians kreepy, kooky & kunty" and this year's theme is obviously hall of the sequined dead souls. This is the picture that's on the cover of the pamphlet the devil hands you when you're about to sign your soul over to him and he wants to make sure you're making an educated decision that's best for you. Happy Christmas from the Kardashians :P

Family Builds Custom House With First Ever Santa-Friendly Chimney

A family in England just built a house with the first-ever custom-built chimney specifically designed to be wide enough for Santa Claus:


The explanation for said Santa House:
Upon viewing the plans, her six year old son Leo told his Mum he was worried that the estate’s new houses would not have chimneys big enough to accommodate Santa. Leo Park, 6, wrote a heartfelt plea for help to local builder Jeremy Paxton, who felt duty bound to grant the worried youngster’s request. The world’s first Santa-friendly chimney was born.
Awww, cute!!! Although, how do they explain to the kid that no other family in the world has a chimney Santa can fit through? CHECK AND MATE, kid. Also there’s no Tooth Fairy. Enjoy the house!

Check out the actual architectural plans for the Santa Chimney, in case you want to build one yourself in your one-bedroom apartment:

Whitest problem ever: SOLVED.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

A Very Fuppets Holiday Christmas

The Tiny Fuppets are back, with an all new Christmas special, “A Very Fuppets Holiday Christmas!” And as usual, those wacky little Fuppets find themselves in a crazy predicament. It’s a real heartwarmer! (Though, Spoiler Alert, I had no idea Piano Dog died, and I’m crushed, much like little Fuppet legs ‘neath a Micro Machine.)
 
R.I.P.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

“Sh*t Black Girls Say” Is The Best “Sh*t Blank People Say” Yet

First there was the hilarious “Sh*t Girls Say.” Then, there was the handsomer and slightly more obscure “Sh*t Gay Guys Say.” But buckle up. Because the best “Sh*t Blank Girls Say” is upon us.

This is “Sh*t Black Girls Say.” And I can openly laugh about this because it references a little show that airs right here on VH1 called Basketball Wives. No offense to anyone out there about to make a “Sh*t Something Something Says” video, but y’all need to stop and DUH-lete it, because it can’t top and won’t top this one.

The man behind the lady named Peaches seen here is comedian Billy Sorrells, and you should probably follow him on Twitter as I just did because he deserves it for this. Enjoy.


Ohhh… Basketball Wives is on. Turn it up!

“Let It Snow” Today at Google

What You Should Do Right Now:

1) Google “let it snow”
2) Kind of sit there for the next couple minutes



That’s all. Enjoy!
 
(For further enjoyment: Imagine the 35 elite, headhunted Ivy-League grads who spent weeks programming this. Are they hiring? I’m not good at anything, but I’ll just, like, play in their ball pit or whatever.)

Puppy Christmas Is All You’ve Ever Wanted Out Of Puppies, Christmas, Or Life

QUICK! Name two things you want to see always. ONE: Puppies. TWO: Christmas. DONE. PUPPY CHRISTMAS. 
 
Film it, cut it, print it, wrap it up in a box, have puppies rip open that box and play with it, film the puppies playing with it, cut that, print that, and beam directly into my brain for the rest of my waking life.

Ya done good, Internet:

The First Offical Dark Knight Rises Trailer Is REALLY Frickin’ Weird

While I’m definitely going to see The Dark Knight Rises regardless, I have to say, this first official trailer that I just found online is REALLY bizarre. It doesn’t show any of the characters from the previous two films, and doesn’t really give away much plot, other than that most of the film involves a surf contest and that it’s generally pretty groovy. Whatever – I’m sure Christopher Nolan can make it work.

Behold, the first official Dark Knight Rises trailer:



(Fiiiine, if you want to watch the real trailer, you can do that here (http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/wb/thedarkknightrises/). Though honestly, if the video above was the actual trailer, would that make you ANY less likely to see this movie on opening night?)

Monday, December 19, 2011

You'll Work Harder, Burn More Calories If You Drink This Before Exercise

If you have trouble with exercise motivation (don't we all) or maybe you just get really tired halfway through a jog, drink this. It will help...

1215-coffee_vg.jpg

The beverage of champions? Coffee, apparently! The New York Times reported on the latest research linking caffeine with impressive, increased exercise stamina (so much so, that the research subjects were more apt to want to work out longer and more frequently after they'd had a sugar-free, caffeinated beverage).

Olympic athletes have known about the caffeine-stamina trick for some time, of course. The Times points out that in urine tests, the majority of professional athletes have caffeine in their bodies. Hey, it's legal and it works.

How Healthy Is Your Workplace?

Do you work in a healthy environment? What special things does your boss do to make sure your workplace is healthy and happy? Check out what Oprah does...

1216-oprah-health_vg.jpg

If the breakfast bar with fruit and ground flaxseeds for the steel-cut oatmeal wasn't enough, Oprah also encourages her employees to take twice-daily meditation breaks to help them focus, and amp up their happiness and peace-of-mind. 

Meditation (or, prayer, if you pray) has been shown in studies to benefit health in major ways.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Hosted By The Gentlemanly Keanu Reeves



Three things:

- Keanu Reeves takes the Q train...
- When Keanu Reeves isn't Sad Keanu, he's Gentlemanly Keanu, because he's quick to politely give his seat to a lady in peril (aka a lady carrying a big *ss bag).
- The lady in peril obviously doesn't know that KEANU REEVES!!! just gave her his seat, because any another person would've declined his request and told him to stay sitting. Then they would've taken off their pants, sat on his lap and asked him to hold them tight so the BOOM doesn't hurt. If Keanu is taking public transportation, you better believe there's a bomb on that bitch.

Mayor Of San Juan's Extremely Classy Christmas Card


Look at that leopard eating an antelope on a family Christmas card! Nope. 
 
I haven't even seen your Christmas card and I can guarantee your *ss that it's not as Fked up as the mayor of San Juan, Puerto Rico's official Christmas postcard. (Note: If your Christmas card looks like this, the last sentence isn't for you.) Mayor Jorge Santini explained this Planet Earth mess of a Christmas card by saying he wanted to promote the San Juan Wildlife Museum. Um. This doesn't promote the Wildlife Museum, this promotes fresh foolery of the highest order. I don't know if that antelope has the look of sheer fear in its eyes because the feeling of hot death is on its neck or if it's just terrified of that little Rebecca Black on the left eating souls with her eyes. Seriously.

Nothing says the birth of Jesus like a leopard killing a e-ffing antelope as a little girl shoots terror into your being. And by the "birth of Jesus" I mean SANTO DIOS! Ayúdame!
And there's a major typo in that card. It should read: Que esta Navidad ilumine tu pesadillas!

Meryl Streep Finally Gets Her First Cover Of American Vogue



Anna Wintour usually puts unflavored bitch (see: Blake Lively) after unflavored bitch (see: Blake Lively, again) on the cover of Vogue, so thankfully someone at Vogue knows what's good and blurted out Meryl Streep's name during a brainstorming meeting over bowls of baby's breath (the actual breath of babies, not the filler flower) in the cafeteria of the Death Eaters' lair.

The greatest living actress in the world (next to Nicole Scherzinger from The X-Factor) finally got her first cover of Vogue at the young age of 62. Meryl is the oldest woman to ever be on the cover and inside the issue she talks about how when she turned 40, she thought Hollywood was going to put her old ass out to pasture:
Streep, now 62, tells Vogue magazine she was offered three different roles to play a witch after turning 40. She believed it meant women in her age group were "grotesque on some level," and told her husband "It's over."

I'm sure it warms Meryl's insides to see how much times have changed since she was 40 :)

The Friendliest Bear In The World


And you thought that title was held by Robin Williams. This bear is so damn polite, friendly and Yogi-Bear-come-to-life-like that you just want to hug him. Wait, so that's how he fools his food! Oh well, I bet this courteous bear says grace before he chews your face off. That makes a difference.

Watch Ten Minutes Of People In Spielberg Movies Making The Same Face

Here’s an absurdly elaborate video-essay entitled “The Spielberg Face”, cutting together every instance of people in Steven Spielberg films distantly staring off into space as the camera slowly zooms in, along with a lengthy, detailed explanation about the purpose of this film technique. 

The face is admittedly somewhat general, but there are so many examples, it just beats you into internet-submission, and the explanation is actually surprisingly interesting.

At 9:40, it’s essentially the longest thing on the internet, but you can watch any part of it and get the gist. Besides, with my attention span, I’m tired of this sentence whatever:



My Face Two Minutes Into Watching This Video:





Thursday, December 15, 2011

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself
When you stop chasing the wrong things you give
the right things a chance to catch you.
As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”  Nothing could be closer to the truth.  But before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back.
Here are some ideas to get you started:
  1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
  2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy.  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
  3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.  Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.  
  4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
  5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
  6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
  7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success.  You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
  8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us.  We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.  Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
  9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive.  But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
  10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either.  You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.  
  11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.  Evaluate situations and take decisive action.  You cannot change what you refuse to confront.  Making progress involves risk.  Period!  You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
  12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
  13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely.  It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.  There’s no need to rush.  If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
  14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
  15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others doing better than you.  Concentrate on beating your own records every day.  Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
  16. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  Ask yourself this:  “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
  17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you.  You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough.  But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past.  You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation.  So smile!  Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
  18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart.  You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself!  And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too.  If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
  19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
  20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway.  Just do what you know in your heart is right.
  21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
  22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.  The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
  23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.  
  24. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Don’t take the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.
  25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while.  You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well.  You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears.  The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
  26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
  27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out.  But making one person smile CAN change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus.
  28. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.  One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?”  If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
  29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.  Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
  30. Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.  Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

Ten Conyo-Mandments

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Need some help getting your flirt on during festive fetes?

We’re in the middle of the holiday party season and whether you’re headed to an ugly sweater party or a classy cocktail soiree, there are plenty of chances for you to get chatty with all the cuties you’ve been crushing on this year. 

1212_flirting_holiday_party_sm.jpg

Try one of these tips on for size: 

Ask the party host to introduce you to the hunk you’ve been too shy to approach.

Is his cup of spiked eggnog looking a little low? Offer to grab him a refill while you’re getting yourself a glass.

If you’re at an ugly sweater party, exchange stories about your hideous knits!

Get cozy next to the wallflower sitting on the couch alone. 

Need some conversation starters? Ask him about his holiday plans, how he knows the party host(s) or if he’s finished (or even started!) his holiday shopping.

Suggest the two of you peruse the snack table together. 

If you’re feeling especially bold (or just tipsy) ask him if he’s on the naughty or nice list this year.

Ask him what his favorite holiday song is.

Smile and make eye contact.

And most importantly, be yourself. 

Happy Holidays flirtybee :D

How to Make Yourself Attractive to Anyone

Psychology Today’s Dr. Jeremy Nicholson recently rediscovered a 1997 study which sought to discover which physical features would be most attractive to the opposite sex. After surveying a number of men and women, the researchers were surprised to discover that the highest marks went to changeable qualities.

1206_happy-couple.jpg

“Their shocking finding was that, by far, the most attractive features fell under the category of ‘self care’. These features were changeable aspects like good grooming, neat hair, nice fitting and quality clothing, good posture, and healthy weight. Essentially, the most attractive features about a person (male or female) is that they put forth some effort to shower, groom, select some nice clothes, stand up straight, and manage their diet a bit. No plastic surgery, major gym time or extensive overhauling required.”

Really good to hear, right? Sure, a male model is probably going to have a pretty easy time getting dates. But just because you don't look like a supermodel does not mean you’re unattractive to the opposite sex, as long as you sort of take care of yourself. When it comes to dating, looking neat is more important than looking hot.

So, now that you can stop stressing about that bump in your nose or the fact that your hair is thinning, what should you worry about? Dr. Nicholson has some spot on advice.

1. Grooming
Dr. Nicholson says that grooming is the most important variable when it comes to attractiveness, and can really make or break your chances with someone. Brush your teeth. Comb your hair. Shower. Keep your fingernails neat.
2. Clothing
Again, no matter what your personal clothing style is, neatness is of the utmost importance. “The research says that three aspects of clothing are required to be attractive – neat, well fitting, and more formal. Put plainly, your clothes need to be clean, pressed, and well maintained.” Additionally, when it comes to attracting someone, it’s better to be overdressed than underdressed.
3. Posture
The easiest, cheapest, and best thing you’ll ever do for your dating life is to simply stand up a little straighter. As Dr. Nicholson say, good posture is sexy.
4. Fitness
Don’t worry, you don’t have to run out and get a personal trainer for a total body overhaul. You just have to, again, take relatively good care of yourself, which can be achieved with moderate exercise three times a week.
5. Attitude
One of the most surprising finds of the study was that “pleasantness” rated pretty highly among both sexes. This means being happy, positive and friendly in attitude. In the immortal words of the little orphan Annie: “You’re never fully dressed without a smile.” (But seriously: just being nice shows way more self–confidence and ease than being shy or sarcastic does— and it’s really attractive.)
So, see? You’re already way hotter than you probably give yourself credit for. It’s easy to maximize your physical attractiveness through small changes.

And as for the things you can’t change? They really don’t matter.

Dos and Donts of Holiday Parties

Holiday parties are like weddings: if you’ve gone to the trouble of dressing up, buying gifts, and suffering whatever indignities the hosts have thrust upon you (singing carols, arbitrary New Years countdowns, and “secret” Santa games included) you deserve to go home with someone, or at least a phone number. To that end, here’s a helpful guide to Dos and Donts of holiday parties:

1224-holiday-party_da.jpg

Do: Put thought into a gift. A bottle of booze is always easy, and fail-safe, but you may be rewarded if you take the time to pick out something unique, funny, or special for your hosts or to give away. Instead of being The Girl Who Loves Scotch, you can be The Girl Who Saved the Party (with her carefully curated playlist of the year’s best dance music). 

Don’t: Bring a dirty gift. Even as a joke. Perviness is awesome, but there is a time and a place, and neither of them is near Santa or his elves. Women can get a way with a little more in this department than men can, and yes, wind-up penises that jump around are both inexpensive and hilarious, as are risqué playing cards, but it is unlikely that being remembered as “the one who did their Secret Santa shopping at a sex shop” will work in your favor.

Do:
Wear comfortable shoes. Can’t stress this enough. If it’s a party in someone’s home, wear your boots and bring your nice shoes in a bag. If it's at a restaurant or club, do the same thing and coat check it, or just grin and bear it through the snow and cold until you reach your destination. Dancing is the key holiday mating ritual. You need feet that are both dry and appropriately shod to fully exercise your right to get down.

 
Don’t: Wear anything too provocative, aka slutty. While holiday parties can, and should get a little wild, this is ultimately a time when people are thinking about family and togetherness and Scrooge McDuck. Maybe keep the sexy under control until grandma goes to bed, or at least until she’s had enough champagne not to notice. The whole fun is wondering what’s underneath that Christmas sweater--a representation of all those wild, impolite yearnings, encased restrictively in a conservative little shell. Like the Twilight movies--that’s sexy stuff.

Do: Carouse. It’s the holidays, don’t forget to make merry.  The holidays don’t have to be all about others--don’t forget about you.

Don’t: Ignore the hosts. Many of the seasonal parties attend are hosted by our friends’ parents. This is really Partying 101, or basic courtesy, but it’s easy to forget to pay attention to these hosts. But they’ve gone to the trouble to throw a party, invite you, provide food and music, etc., actually invest some time talking to them for real, not just the perfunctory “hello” and “thanks for having me.” Making that extra and sincere effort can work wonders.

The above may help, but there really are no secret tips or tricks for success at a holiday jam. They are really just more opportunities to reveal the real version of yourself in perhaps the most amenable of environments. Like I said, these things are a lot like weddings: a little formal, a little fun, and everyone’s looking.

Sex Words to Learn in 2012


1208_couple-talking-in-bed.jpg

1. Bangover: The exhaustion the morning after a night of sex.
“I barely made it through the meeting with this bangover…but it was so worth it.”


2. Precop: A precopulation agreement.
“Our precop states that we won’t get emotionally involved.”


3. Sexit: The act of leaving a party or place to have sex.
“I got his text and made a quick sexit.”


4. Shagbag: The bag of portable essentials you pack in case you’re out all night—toothbrush, etc.
“I was meeting Chad, so I brought my trusty shagbag just in case.”


5. Solodex: Your mental list of fantasy material.
“Chuck Bass has been on my Solodex since episode one.”


Have any of these sex words invaded your bedroom vocabulary? Got any new words we should learn?

The New Way to Lose Weight

Imagine eating whatever you want five days a week, and then picking two days to cut back on carbs and calories? Health experts say there might be something to this new way to lose weight...

1212-weight-loss_vg.jpg

According to British researchers, women who cut out carbs two days a week and ate normally for the remaining fives days of the week, lost almost double the weight of women who cut back to a daily 1,500 calories per day. 

While researchers say the reason for the two-day diet's success is unclear, they believe it may have something to do with the power of choice. In other words, the more freedom you have (five days of eating without strict calorie restrictions vs. every day of keeping to a 1,500-calorie limit), may lead to more weight loss success and less oops-eating. 

Though I tend to be skeptical of low-carb diets, I'm fascinated with the concept of this "two-day-a-week" diet. Would you try it?

The Germiest Place on Your Hands

A lesson on hand-washing? Puh-lease, right? Well, we all may need a quickie refresher course. It turns out, most of us forget to wash a certain spot on our hands and that could mean your hands are harboring some dangerous germs right now...


1211-washing-hands_vg01.jpg

Remember this next time you're scrubbing up: There's a certain place on your hands that you may be missing entirely when you're lathering up, says Richard Hopper, M.D., chief of plastic surgery and surgical director of the Craniofacial Center at Seattle Children's Hosptial.
"The meaty part of the palm under the little finger and the thumb are called the hypothenar and thenar eminences," he says. "People often forget to wash these two parts of the hand. If you place invisible dye on a persons hand and ask them to wash, when you use a light to show the dye left behind, it is usually on those two parts."


So fascinating, right?

Giant-Headed Baby Attacked By Tiniest Yorkie Ever

This video begins like so many others. An adorable baby in a tiny sailor’s outfit sitting in a park, just minding his own baby business.
 
Then, in an unexpected twist, a tiny baby yorkie scamps in to attack the enemy. The yorkie’s mission is clear: TAKE THIS BABY DOWN. The baby sits there, cute, cuddly, and merely swats at this pest, deflecting him for the most part until the twist ending.

Game Of Thrones Season 2 Teaser Trailer Is 47 Seconds Long But GIVE IT TO ME

Here’s a new teaser trailer for Season 2 of Game Of Thrones. It’s only 47 seconds long and the season doesn’t start til frickin’ APRIL, so it is, in fact, about as teaserie as a teaser trailer can get.
 
Season 2 Is Coming…


UGGGGHHH – April??? So we have to suffer through a long, barren, Thrones-less winter before getting to enjoy more episodes? How ironic.

8 Absolutely Amazing Bento Box Rice Sculptures

So, you think you were SOOOO COOOOL at grade school lunchtime because you had your fancy-smanshy Legend Of Zelda lunch box (or your Jem lunchbox, depending on your gender and/or confidence level)?


Then check out this BBC report on the growing trend in Japan of mothers sculpting elaborate, artistic school lunches for their children (not lunch boxes, the lunches themselves), using primarily rice and seaweed to form fun, crazy designs for their children to show off to friends then eat and feel bad about destroying it.

Here are 8 of the most ridiculous lunch-designs from the video. I don’t believe I’ve ever used the term “lunch-designs”, but, well here they are:

1. Obama

2. Michael Jackson

3. Playstation Controller

4. Hello Kitty

5. Piano

6. Panda

7. This Super Japanese Cartoon Character

8. Harrison Ford, Obviously
Bon appetit!

Jimmy Kimmel Makes Parents Give Their Kids A Terrible Xmas Present

Right after Halloween, Jimmy Kimmel unleashed a montage of parents telling their children that they ate all their Halloween candy. It was a classic.

NEVER FORGET:
 


 


Well now Jimmy is back with a new challenge: Give your kids a terrible Christmas present. This is a tough one, as Christmas technically isn’t happening for another two weeks. Still, you can actually hear the squeaky door hinge sound of these children’s collective disappointments while watching. And I mean, really, how ungrateful these kids are. Bwahahhahah :D


Drop It Like It’s Sloth

Here’s the trailer for “Too Cute! Baby Sloths”, an upcoming accurately-titled documentary on Animal Planet about a Sloth Sanctuary (Slothtuary) in Costa Rica. It’s basically a building where a bunch of sloths are constantly crawling around very slowly and looking tired, so you should pretty much just go set your DVR right now (actually you have some time – they are very slow).
 
I VOTE FOR THE SLOTH AT 0:34!!! If we’re voting for sloths. I am.

Also, the music in the trailer is the EXACT music I hear in my head any time I see a sloth. That or “Drop It Like It’s Sloth”, a song about shaking your ass super slowly.

HOLY CRAP: Tiny 9-Year-Olds Have A Giant Hockey Brawl

Here’s a shocking (but kind of cute!) video of two Under-10 youth hockey teams in Kazakhstan whose postgame handshake line quickly devolves into a really massive brawl. On the plus side, it’s nice for Kazakhstan to finally get noticed for something other than Borat or being really frustrating in Risk.
 
Not to judge, but don’t people in Kazakhstan know ANYTHING about sportsmanship? The DADS are supposed to fight each other to the death in the stands in front of all the children because one said some innocuous offhand comment. That’s how youth sports are supposed to work. This is just wrong:



Wu Tang Flan Ain’t Nuthin Ta Snack Wit

You know when you see something online that’s just so no-brainery that you’re briefly mad you didn’t think of it, but mainly just happy that it exists?

Enter the Wu Tang Flan:


Beautifully done once again, humankind. Me slow clapping now..

For Strict Compliance..

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Who Is Ali Lohan’s Friend And How Do I Meet Him?



OK yes, most people are gonna see the name ALI LOHAN and, without even thinking, immediately start spouting off about how thin she is, and how she’s just like her sister, and other kinds of negative stuff and blah blah blah. And you know what? If it makes you feel better about yourself, by all means, who am I to stop you.

But Ali Lohan is the least of my concerns in this pic. That’s because she happens to be sitting next to a very special looking man that I can honestly say I’d like to be friends with. Something about the hair, the eyes, the conviction with which he clearly speaks, says to me: This is a man who has the potential to be a national treasure. Now the real question remains…


 
Don’t let me down internet. Find him and bring him to me.
 
 



NOW!!!

Finally, Proof That Comic Sans Makes Everything Better

As any professional graphic designer, typist, or human with eyes and STYLE can tell you, Comic Sans makes anything better: Movie Posters and most of all, logos.

The ingeniously simple Comic Sans Project has taken this theory to the sans-treme, replacing the fonts in popular advertising and cultural logos with Comic Sans to prove just how much more pleasing to the eye and hilarious they instantly become:


SEE? There’s no telling how successful McDonald’s or Star Wars could’ve been if they’d only spent more time on their logo-fonts.

Check out the rest of their logos at the Comic Sans Project Tumblr. Though really – this is still up for debate? I’m pretty sure everyone with any degree of design acumen knows that all fonts always should be comic sans. Why am I not writing this in comic sans right now, you ask? 

Because I don’t take the EASY WAY to assured greatness.

Josh Brolin Is Tommy Lee Jones In Men In Black 3 Trailer

Something you might notice in this brand new trailer for Men In Black 3: is that the movie’s usual craggle-faced co-star, Tommy Lee Jones, is barely in it. And just when you’re like, great, this is going to be 2 hours of Will Smith in a tux talking to slightly-better-than-Jumanji CGI effects, Smith time-travels back to 1969… where Tommy Lee Jones has been replaced by fellow craggle-faced actor Josh Brolin. I think we can all agree here…



 
It Shoulda Been Josh Hartnett.
 
I’m not complaining, but for real, am just trying to help Josh Hartnett find another vehicle. Here is the first official trailer for the film, which will be released May 25, 2012. Let’s not forget that Mr. Smith is 43 and looks like he still lives in Uncle Phil’s house… 



Rick Perry Or Brokeback Mountain?

A user at Reddit notes the amazing similarity between Rick Perry in his anti-Don’t Ask Don’t Tell ad and most hated video ever on Youtube “Strong” and Heath Ledger in Brokeback Mountain as the tortured gay cowboy Ennis Del Mar. It truly is uncanny. So, why not make a game out of it? 

Here is Rick Perry Or Brokeback Mountain, a game where one must try to tell the difference between Rick Perry and Brokeback Mountain. It gets trickier the further along you go… (Answers at the end.)

1.


2.


3.


4.
 
The photos get way more confusing ahead.



5.


6.


7.


8.


9.


10.


11.


12.


13.


14.


15.


ANSWERS: