Here is a new — and hopefully real — addition to the world of fitness fads. It’s called the “Free Flexor” and bills itself as a “flexible dumbbell” that allows you to work your muscles in any direction.
But it kind of looks like a double-shlong with two heavy rubber balls on the end. Perhaps this is like a kinky Rorschach test to see if you’re a pervert or not, only everyone who takes it is obviously the biggest pervert. I almost wonder if this is even a real piece of exercise equipment or just a gag made solely for the purpose of making fun of it on the internet. I mean camman. The Marine? The dude watching the Marine? The line about it “making your muscles cry”? I mean wait a second, is this gay porn? You guysss. You’re good. I’ll give it to you, you’re good. I fell for it, I’ll admit.