Monday, October 1, 2012

What Most Of Us Do When We Listen To One Of Justin Bieber's Songs

Because babies can't hold their liquor, Justin Bieber vommed on stage at his show in Glendale, Arizona. Yes, even Canadian messiahs get the barfs, but what's really magical about this is that he somehow kept singing as he yacked the nastiness up. That's magic! Either some trickery (aka lip-synching) is going on or Bieber trained his b-hole to sing out of his songs when his mouth is unavailable. But back to the barfs, why did Bieber get them? Here are my three theories:

1. Bitch is knocked up.
2. Justin Bieber is really a performance artist and he's giving an artistic interpretation of his songs.
3. A lady in the front row flashed her actual female breasts at him.

The answer is: NONE OF THE ABOVE. This is what Bieber blamed his puking on:

Uh huh, milk... Even Usher laughed at that backstage while pulling up his pants. But seriously, this is why Justin Bieber should've never cut off the golden mop of his dreams on his head. Because if he still had hair like that, one of his dancers could've just turned him upside down and used his mop head to clean that mess up.

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