Ernie Goes #ScarletJohanssoning

Scarlett Johansson got hacked! Yes, it’s old news, but the world will never fully recover from being gifted with the opportunity to see NEKKID PICTURES (DUH)! The pics rapidly became a meme, in which #scarletjohanssoning was the new planking. The “hot, new thing” online quickly became (and remains) the act of taking an over-the-shoulder picture in front of a mirror that, like Scarlet, exposes one’s derriere. You can even submit your own pictures, since that’s how we live now. (“Please send pictures of yourself — posing, naked, like Scarlet Johansson in what was meant to be a private picture — to a stranger! Theenks!”)

Anyway, the best one yet is easily the cutest, if you can call it cute (you can). We’ll call it “Jim Hensonning”:

I really wish I had the opportunity to comment on Ernie’s a**, but this is good enough. Haha :D

Let Bert and Ernie Stay Single

An online petition by Change.org to have Bert and Ernie get married on Sesame Street is generating lots of buzz but also plenty of criticism—including from those who support same-sex marriage:

• Nicole Fabian-Weber, the Stir: "Utterly stupid idea." Why? "They're puppets. They bicker, sing songs, and teach kids how to count. They—and the rest of the characters on the show—shouldn't be marrying anyone, girl or boy." (Whitney Jefferson at Jezebel has a similar gripe.)
• Tracy Clark-Flory, Salon: "They're close buddies who happen to be lifelong roommates—and in a preschooler's universe this is totally appropriate! It's only in the adult world of defensive, 'no homo' heterosexuality that their cohabitation becomes problematic and laughable." How about we push for more gay celebrities to appear on the show "and leave the absurdity of debating puppets' sexuality to the homophobes."

• Alyssa Rosenberg, Think Progress: "If Sesame Street says the pair isn’t gay, it would be a bit odd to force them to get married because we want some role models." Also: "I think it’s actively unhelpful to gay and straight men alike to perpetuate the idea that all same-sex roommates, be they puppet or human, must necessarily be a gay couple."

• Andrew Sullivan, Daily Beast: "My gripe is that I've not just been fighting for gays to have the right to marry for two decades; I've also been fighting for them to have the right not to marry, if they so choose. And that applies to Bert and Ernie."

OPINION:  Discussing two puppets' sexual orientation or their relationship status is efffin' retarded :P Boinkz!