The Photoshop Lifetime Achievement Awards: Mimi's First American Idol Promo Picture

Let's all take a moment of silence for all the feeling Mimi's full-time, personal Photoshop artiste lost in his fingers after spending hours upon hours erasing all pixels of reality from her first American Idol promo picture to make this gloriously fraudulent masterpiece. Mimi's Photoshopper used the hell out of the de-rib tool and pinched her waist so much that it looks like her intestines escaped up to her chichis area to keep from suffocating. Even that sun looks skinnier eh?!

Meet Your Future Winner Of X Factor

The X Factor premiered this week to hoots and accusations that it is exactly like American Idol. Simon Cowell, a lucid and angelic Paula Abdul, Nicole Scherzinger and my new spirit animal L.A. Reid takes place in front of a giant studio audience versus the intimacy of the Idol judging panel. Check out this contestant named Melanie Amaro singing Beyonce’s “Listen.” 

I’m fairly sure we’ve got ourselves a $5 million winner here :D 

And to those suggesting it’s an American Idol Redux, I present to you this GIF:

The Ultimate Scotty McCreepy Gif Wall

While he’ll never be our “Scotty The Body,” his vocals have been consistently solid… however, they’ve been accompanied by the most contrived, goofiest, hide-your-kids, hide-your-wives facial expressions to ever land on the American Idol stage. And the way he handles that mic… it’s borderline pornographic. Congrats Scotty Baby! :)