I have chosen my favorites for The 10 Hottest Ryans of All Time for your viewing pleasure below. They are in order from 10-1 because if there’s one thing these Ryans deserve, it is to be ranked! Onward.
1. Ryan Gosling – The One Who Gives Us All The Feels
He is the man who spawned a million memes, the one who rescues people on the streets of New York while looking remarkably good in a tank top, has an adorable mutt, and is about to direct his first feature, which I am already excited to see. He has the best Best Kiss of all time. He farts, and the world responds: “well played.” Is there anyone else who could land this #1 spot?
2. Ryan Lochte – The One Who Should Never Open His Mouth
So handsome, this one. So undeniably good looking, with his abs and rippling thigh muscles, and those god damn dimples that slay me every time. Wave that smile in front of my face like one of those wands in Men In Black and I forget all about the grill, the shoe collection, the Vegas partying, the Hollywood grifting and the general doucheiness that spills out of his mouth faster than you can say: “Jeah.”
3. Ryan Phillippe – The One Who Never Got Off The C List
I know what you’re thinking – “How is Ryan Phillippe ahead of Ryan Reynolds on this here magical list of hot Ryans?!” And my answer is this: Go watch Cruel Intentions one hundred times and then come back to me. If Heathers is the greatest cult movie of the 80s (no question, it IS) then Cruel Intentions is its late 90′s heir. So much of that is owed to Phillippe’s creepy yet charming and seriously sexy performance as a rich kid who sets out to seduce his prep’s school newest student/virgin (played by Reese Witherspoon). And though he’s been in some solid films (Crash, Flags of Our Fathers) most of his work has been limited to “meh” movies, and even those are overshadowed by his relationship drama. But maybe there’s still some oomph left in the guy. Tell me you didn’t watch that Cruel Intentions clip just now and then think to yourself, “CHRISTIAN GREY!” (Also, he’s a kewt dad.)
4. Ryan Reynolds – The One Who Gets The Girls
Ryan Reynolds may be a good actor (sure The Proposal was cute, but have you seen Adventureland? And Fifteen?) but his greatest skill is landing hot women. Yes, a superficial observation for sure, but an accurate one. He is the man who married Scarlett Johansson! The guy who stole Blake Lively away from Leonardo DiSeriousFilmMakerio! Somewhere underneath that sweet smirk is some serious game.
5. Ryan Adams – The One With Indie Cred
The perennial indie rocker is as much of an NYC fixture as Chloe Sevigny and Parker Posey. He is one of our local hometown heroes, slouching around the East Village is his little bell bottom jeans and Lennon-esque glasses. He is nothing if not adorable and damaged – the perfect combination for many a torrid affair with lots of pretty downtown girls. But he got sober and got Mandy Moore and will always be known first and foremost for good rock music.
6. Ryan Dunn – The One We Miss
I debated including Ryan Dunn on this list because it seemed incredibly morbid. But it also seemed horribly unfit to leave him off when he’s been one of my favorite Ryans since he Jackassed into the world back in 2000. Dunn passed away in 2011 in a tragic car accident, but he deserves a spot here for being both adorable and hilarious. As a Jackass junkie (I dare you to find the fansite I made for one of the guys in 2001. It still exists in the tombs off the internet.) Dunn was always a favorite – just so sweet and silly and game for anything. Boy, is he missed. (Watch a sweet video tribute in his honor.)
7. Ryan O’Neal – The One Your Mom Thinks Is Sexy
Yes, an old dude has made it onto our list. Ryan O’Neal is famous for many things – drugs, dating Farrah Fawcett, drugs, fathering Tatum O’Neal, and general family issues (that mostly involve drugs). But he also is an established actor best know for his Oscar-nominated role in Love Story. If you haven’t seen it (the above photo is from the film, co-starring Ali McGraw), get on it – just be sure to watch it while sitting in a boat as your eyes will weep a sea’s worth of tears.
8. Ryan Cabrera – The One Who We Haven’t Thought About Since 2004
Don’t try to hide it, you loved him in the role of Ashlee Simpson‘s boyfriend on her MTV reality show back before she nose-jobbed herself into a sleeker, sexier woman. Sure, his weird, gelled hairdo was insufferable and probably inspired Pauly D years later, but “One The Way Down” was a legitimately good pop song and he’s aged surprisingly well. Maybe his career can catch up?
9. Ryan Sheckler – The One Who Skateboards
Remember the reality show Life of Ryan on MTV a few years? Well that kid with a half pipe in his backyard is now of legal age and seriously handsome. He’s also still raking in the cash with sponsorships, if you’re into gold-digging.
10. Ryan Seacrest – The One Who Made Millions Off The Kardashians
Forbes just named Seacrest the 19th highest paid celebrity of 2012, and he should be, what with his radio show, Idol gig, and the endless sea of Kardashian shows he produces for the E! network. You couldn’t watch the Summer Olympics without seeing him interviewing a tiny gymnast or walking through Ryan Lochte’s giant closet, admiring his watch collection. He’s everywhere, which seems to be just how he likes it.