This would be terrible..

What Most Of Us Do When We Listen To One Of Justin Bieber's Songs

Because babies can't hold their liquor, Justin Bieber vommed on stage at his show in Glendale, Arizona. Yes, even Canadian messiahs get the barfs, but what's really magical about this is that he somehow kept singing as he yacked the nastiness up. That's magic! Either some trickery (aka lip-synching) is going on or Bieber trained his b-hole to sing out of his songs when his mouth is unavailable. But back to the barfs, why did Bieber get them? Here are my three theories:

1. Bitch is knocked up.
2. Justin Bieber is really a performance artist and he's giving an artistic interpretation of his songs.
3. A lady in the front row flashed her actual female breasts at him.
The answer is: NONE OF THE ABOVE. This is what Bieber blamed his puking on:


Uh huh, milk... Even Usher laughed at that backstage while pulling up his pants. But seriously, this is why Justin Bieber should've never cut off the golden mop of his dreams on his head. Because if he still had hair like that, one of his dancers could've just turned him upside down and used his mop head to clean that mess up.

Presented Without Comment: Miley Cyrus Done Chopped All Her Hair Off

Okay, maybe just a few comments. I don't know if Miley Cyrus's new Justin Bieber-like reverse mullet makes her look like a chipmunkized Dennis the Menace looking to get into some mischief or makes her look like the most annoying Slytherin ever. The good news is that Miley donated all her chopped off hair to a cancer charity, so sometime soon someone will have a wig that will instantly get them stoned just by sniffing on it real quick.

As long as you Love me

For those of you Beliebers, this song and video from the newly ("hot, ready") legal pop prince's latest LP, Believe, needs no introduction.Because you're likely already swooning/dying.

For those who haven't heard of the unicorn magic of Justin Bieber via selective hearing/living in a pineapple under the sea, the Big Sean-assisted "As Long As You Love Me" is another surefire hit, with its dubby, blippy beat and soaring chorus of la la las. And the video, an ill-fated tale of blood, forbidden love, and lots o' brooding and canoodling (also forbidden!).  Enjoy!

A Tweet That Sums Up Beliebers Perfectly

Ooooh... Okay :)

Justin Bieber Unveils New mRobo Ultra ROBOT

Here’s Justin Bieber and two other people who aren’t Justin Bieber (OUTTA THE WAY YOU TWO NOTBEEBZ!) at the Consumer Electronics show in Las Vegas unveiling the ‘mRobo Ultra’ Bass Portable Speaker And Dancing Robot, a small robot capable of blasting music and dancing:

It’s a very tiny white man that cranks out beats, dances with flawless precision, and is immune to aging – ladies and gentleman, society has officially created a robot Justin Bieber. Could this be the crossing-over ‘Judgement Day’ point prophesied in the Terminator films? Since this comprises the entirety of my robotics knowledge, I can only say “Definitely yes.”

Check out an incredible video of the ROBOBEIBER in action:

Yep, it’s only a matter of time before a bunch of these malfunction and turn evil and it’s up to Will Smith to stop them, and also the bad ones have a red light so we can tell they’re the bad ones (too late to keep sh*tting on I, Robot? That’s a pretty evergreen reference, right? I don’t care if Justin Bieber was like negative eighty when that movie came out.)

Everybody Involved Should Go To Jail For This Gross Sh!t

In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, 6-year-old-looking Justin Bieber gave his 19-year-old scissor sister Selena Gomez a titty check at a hockey game in Winnipeg. Or maybe he's grabbing at hers while wishfully dreaming about the day that his finally come in. Then the lovebirds put everybody in that VIP box on some kind of list when they kissed on each other while 69-ing through their jerseys.

Okay, I was 12 once a million years ago, so I understand that kids do this kind of shit when their hormones tell them they're in love, but DAMN. Take this shit away from public eyes.That titty grabbing picture is about as not right as not right can be. It's like reverse Pedophilia. Arrest them! Arrest their parents! Arrest us for looking at this! Arrest everybody!

Good Idea Alert: Teenage Mutant Ninja Noses

Going viral right now? Teenage Mutant Ninja Noses, a Tumblr dedicated to pictures enhanced by faces from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle franchise, in which tiny Raphaels, Michaelangelos, and even Bebops are sketched onto the noses of famous human people like Justin Bieber, Jennifer Lopez, and (my persona favorite) soul singer Ledisi.

So, yeah, it’s pretty important, considering the fact that a photo of Lil Wayne as a baby but with tattoos and piercings on his face, as well as a Ninja Turtle on his nose, is your next tattoo, naturally.

Brangelina 2.0

The latest photos and pictures shared by Justin Bieber on Instagram... 

Even if you dont have an Instagram account ! ;-)

http://instabieber.com

New Dream Karaoke Duet Partner: Evan Rachel Wood

I never saw Across The Universe, but apparently extremely talented actress Evan Rachel Woodreally sing. Huh! It’s not a huge surprise, per se, that someone so immensely talented and with such a strong track record in TV and film would actually be able to pull out more tricks from her fancy hat.  But boy, can she ever. can

Someone shot video of Evan Rachel Wood — who is, officially, one of those few girls who can make the pixie cut look amazing — singing karaoke in Beijing, where she turned Justin Bieber‘s “U Smile” into an AWESOME, HEARTWRENCHING ADULT BALLAD. Seriously, this girl is, like, ridiculous right now.

Someone’s on her way to an EGOT!

Video courtesy of youtube.com

Gross.

That "gross" is not not my feelings about The Lesbeaver eye diving into Selena Gomez's vest at Canada's Music Video Awards in Toronto last night. Baby Bieber hasn't learned yet that lady nipples aren't just for sucking leche out of so I'm guessing it's way past his feeding time. This is like a picture of me eye diving into the wrapper of an M&Ms. It's totally natural.

What I'm really throwing a "gross" at is Justin Bieber's Kelly Kapowski t-shirt! Like Justin even knows who Kelly Kapowski is! The year after Saved By The Bell ended, Justin was merely just a sperm guppy floating around in his daddy's testicle. I bet Justin doesn't even know up until the late 90s, Tiffany Thiessen had an Amber stuffed into her name. Illegal.

Selena Gomez Was Hongray And Tired

My Our Lady of Guadalupe candle has nearly burned to the bottom from sending flames of prayer for Selena Gomez and now it can finally exhale, because she IS GOING TO LIVE!!! The Portia de Rossi to Justin Bieber's Ellen DeGeneres was hospitalized last week and some of us made up the rumor that her womb was filled with a Canadian Mexican lesbian fetus and others said it was blood pressure issues. Well, at some concert at Santa Monica Place today, Selena told reporters it was neither.

"I was just very malnourished, so I was low on iron and exhausted. I do feel better!"

Malnourished? There's a meatless crotch joke in there somewhere, but I'm only going to say that if I had to bottle feed my boyfriend at all hours of the night and deal with his fans constantly hacking the baby monitor I'd be in a state of broke off and dozed off too. Poor Selena. Bitch has postpartum and she's not even a mother! But thankfully, she's back on the stage and entertaining all her fans.

http://splashnewsonline.com/

How do you like the Biebershop Quartet?

Yes! Yes! An entire solar system of yes!
Except for the unsettling part about using strap-ons to bonk Bieber’s underage fans. That part was just…no.


Video courtesy of youtube.com

An Open Letter To Selena Gomez

Dear Selena Gomez,

When Chris Hansen asked you to have a seat over there, he didn't mean on Justin Bieber's 17-year-old crotch.

Sincerely yours,
Squammy G.

P.S. - Thanks to you, everybody who looks at these pictures is going to jail now. Thank you. You're single-handedly responsible for overcrowded prisons. You, sucia pedo puta, you. Good going.

P.P.S. - When you're singing Baby Bieber a goodnight lullaby in his bassinet tonight, please let him know through song that the organizers of the National Weight Lifting Competition are impressed that his parakeet arms were able to lift your NOT RIGHT ass in the water. They'd like him to compete in their toddler division this year.

P.P.P.S - A covered playpen: get one next time.

  

 

http://www.splashnewsonline.com

Justin Bieber Throws Up During Concert

Biebers: They’re just like us! Us non-Elven-godchildren totally throw up all the time too, especially when we’re performing our regular, run-of-the-mill karate-kick-filled pop shows in The Philippines!

Justin Bieber was so sick last night at his show in the Philippines, TMZ has learned, the singer repeatedly took breaks during his set to run backstage…and barf his brains out.
Sources close to Bieber tell TMZ, JB came down with some kind of chest infection last week — and when he hit the stage last night in Manila … the wooziness was way too much to handle.
Gotta give the kid props — in fact, just before his concert last night, he tweeted, “Sick as a dog … But the show must go on.” – TMZ

Consummate showman, that Biebs — no Filipino water-plague is gonna keep him from giving his fans their “Eenie Meenie Miny Moe Lover.” Nor should it: THIS IS AMERICA. Wait no, it’s the Philippines, I just said that. But he’s FROM America. Wait, no. Let’s just say, “Good job slugger!” We can call Justin Bieber “Slugger,” right? Cause he like, slugs those pop tunes out? Cool.

http://www.tmz.com

Who Has Better Hair--Justin Bieber, Or Justin Bieber's Wax Figure?

It's been almost a month since Justin Bieber debuted his new haircut. Now Madame Tussauds has debuted a Justin Bieber wax figure, complete with the old Bieber haircut.

I think his new haircut makes him seem older, in a good way. His previous haircut made me associate with him before puberty. His new haircut makes me realize he's growing up. Plus, it gives off a bit of a bad boy air. What's not heart throb about that?:)

Justin Bieber Fake?

Justin Bieber Found to be Cleverly Disguised 51-Year Old Pedophile :P

The Ultimate Fashion Face-Off:)

 PACMAN vs BIEBER

Bangs kung Bangs