The goat-saving hero pig!

When a terrified little goat almost drowned its way to Jesus, it couldn't count on the dude behind the camera to save it, but it could count on a pig friend. The pig suddenly became Captain Save-A-Goat when it jumped into the water and saved the goat's life. Okay, it's not like the pig put the goat on its back, swam to land and soothed its nerves by serenading it with Farmer Hogget's lullaby. The pig just swam to the goat and was like, "This way, bitch." But it's still a hero and the Navy SEALs should recruit it.

I know I'm supposed to say now, "That'll do, pig. That'll do."

Behold: The Fappinator 2000

The Fappinator 2000 is so damn popular at one hospital in China that it takes 20 to 30 peens a day. I know where John Travolta's spending Halloween (SPOILER ALERT: China) and I know what he's going to dress up as (SPOILER ALERT: this machine).

They should really make a portable, battery-powered version that you can take everywhere. It's the perfect automated Fleshlight for lazies. Use it in the car, at your desk and everywhere else. But before you press the start button, pray that the machine doesn't malfunction so hard that it pulls your dick off and suddenly becomes a sex change machine called the Bobbitt Bot.
And I'm sure a secret recording will leak of Paris Hilton saying that this machine is the horniest machine in the world, is disgusting and probably has machine AIDS.

22 Ridiculously Cute Animals

'Tis the season! On this crisp late September day, check out my fave fuzzy creatures:

 

Source: mojitosandblow.tumblr.com via Allie on Pinterest

Source: veryfunnypics.com via Terry on Pinterest

Source: petsfunnies.com via Diane on Pinterest

Source: tiemposdeyuca.tumblr.com via Norah on Pinterest

Source: turningpoint2.tumblr.com via Natalie on Pinterest

Source: ivypink.typepad.com via ivyPINK on Pinterest

Source: imgfave.com via Heather on Pinterest

Source: 500px.com via Care.com on Pinterest

Source: alexxandra81.tumblr.com via Karen on Pinterest

Source: dogpictures.co via Chris on Pinterest

Source: thejunglestore.tumblr.com via TheJungleStore.com on Pinterest

Source: agilityfusion.com via Sarah on Pinterest

Source: a-c-e-r-v-o.tumblr.com via Kimberly on Pinterest

Source: imgfave.com via Abigail on Pinterest

Source: corgis-everywhere.tumblr.com via Kat on Pinterest

Source: weheartit.com via Ameerah on Pinterest

Source: bigpicture.ru via Helly on Pinterest

Source: via Casey on Pinterest

Source: flickr.com via Mary on Pinterest

Source: attackofthecute.com via Maukilo on Pinterest

Source: attackofthecute.com via CitizenNYC on Pinterest

Today's Workout Motivation

Not feeling it today? If you need a little motivation to get to the gym or go on that lunchtime jog, here you go...

This Under Armour commercial has to be one of the best ever made:) There's something inspiring about seeing all these strong women working hard and feeling great.

The Ostrich Pillow

Ever felt so groggy at your desk that you just wished you could set your head down by your keyboard and take a quick snooze? Well, check out this fun invention...

 

It's called the Ostrich Pillow (funny right?), a new product in development that "enables easy power naps anytime, everywhere" providing a "micro environment in which to take a cozy and comfortable power nap at ease ... its soothing soft interior shelters and isolates your head and hands (mind and body) for a short break, without needing to leave your desk, chair, bench or wherever you may be."

OK, I'm sold.

I heart Joseph Gordon-Levitt!

I'm pretty impressed with JGL’s skills — that push-up move was just, WOW oh WOW. Not that I expect him to be anything less than spectacular at everything he does these days. 

LOL of the Day: The Bad Lip Reading of The Hunger Games

Call me crazy, but the first thing I noticed about the new Bad Lip Reading of The Hunger Games wasn’t just that it’s laugh out loud amazing. It’s that much of the ridiculous dialogue could have been taken directly from the Hunger Games series. Okay, okay, maybe not the part about barfing on a sailor like a pig, but virtually everything else. Have you watched the video yet? Okay, then let’s look at this critically:

• Katniss and Gale have the kind of close, easy friendship that might involve them discussing “the squirts.” (Oh, like you weren’t having the exact same conversation with your friends yesterday.) If we never actually read them discussing anyone’s “fudge puddles,” it’s probably because the concept of fudge didn’t survive the Dark Days.
• “Scooby-Doo!” On the other hand, maybe Scooby-Doo did survive that far into the future. Maybe our great-great-great-grandchildren look at the show like we look at The Odyssey. “And lo, Shaggy shall be our Homer!”
• Katniss is the queen, okaaaaaay?
• What with all the Plutarch Heavensbees and Posy Hawthornes running around, there could have easily been a character named Codfish Joe. Ditto Bob the Human.
• “The police ate Timothy!” The government is already responsible for a homicidal reality show and the practice of cutting out dissidents’ tongues. You really think the police wouldn’t eat Timothy? You are living in a fantasy world, ya’ll!
• “Every night, I want you to hold Marvin the cat. He’s not a real cat.” Look, Peeta’s body is ravaged with infection when he and Katniss are hiding out during the Games. Cat-based hallucinations are completely plausible.
• Also, Clove is sort of loco crazy.
• “And that’s how babies grow?” Hey, we doubt those District 12 kids are getting comprehensive sex ed classes in school. Maybe Peeta just wanted to check and make sure!

Is Your Phone Messing With Your Body? Read Before Texting

Do you always have your phone in your hand, and are you frequently looking down at it to check emails, text messages, etc.? Of course you are! Everyone does. But, wait until you hear what this constant texting posture is doing to your body, and it's not good...

Physical therapists call it "Text Neck"--the common poor posture we have when we lean over our phone. It can lead to neck pain, headaches, back pain, and poor posture.
Here's a fascinating tidbit, from CNN's Jacque Wilson: "The average human head weighs 10 pounds in a neutral position--when your ears are over your shoulders. For every inch you tilt your head forward, the pressure on your spine doubles. So if you're looking at a smartphone in your lap, your neck is holding up what feels like 20 or 30 pounds."
What to do? Try holding your phone up higher next time you're texting or sending an email on your phone, say experts so there's less strain on your neck.
I have a chronic problem of hovering over my Blackberry at all times of the day, and the other day I caught a glimpse of myself in a window while out, and I was shocked by my poor posture. Lesson learned!

Fifty Shades of Chicken?! Dafuk?!

I thought I was over any news item that mentioned 50 Shades of Grey (I mean, enough is enough people!) but twice in the last 24 hours I’ve laughed at loud at stories about the world’s favorite BDSM adventure…

 

And today I spotted this genius little tidbit that combines the sexual and the culinary: an anonymous food industry professional, under the genius nom de plume FL Fowler, is releasing a cookbook entitled Fifty Shades of Chicken on November 13. According to the author, who I really really hope turns out to be Anthony Bourdain, the book provided inspiration: “One day as I was tying up the ankles of a chicken for roasting, I realized why some of the scenes in the book were so strikingly familiar. It turns out I’ve been practicing BDSM for years—but with poultry.” 



A cookbook inspired by the novel isn’t that surprisingly, since Christian Grey’s obsession with making Anastasia Steele eat is a recurring--and totally annoying--theme in the book. And cooking is kind of like a love story. As our anonymous author says, “You start with an overbearing cook and a pigheaded chicken but by the end they're spanking and tying each other up like soul mates.” 

If you’re curious, People.com has a preview of two recipes from the book. Even though it’s probably tasty, I’m pretty sure the recipe for “Dripping Thighs” has put me off eating chicken ever again.

Havey na Havey!

John Lloyd Cruz and Bea Alonzo reenacted their most memorable scenes from Star Cinema's hit 2007 film "One More Chance." This time, the two were asked to deliver their lines in gay linggo. Cruz and Alonzo are now busy promoting their 10th anniversary project "The Mistress." Gandang Gabi Vice, September 16, 2012. 

Dami ko tawa dito!!! HAHA :D

The New Les Miz Video that blew my musical-loving mind

Things Everyone Needs You to Know

A silhouette of a human being stands before you.

Perhaps an old friend.  Perhaps a neighbor.  Perhaps a perfect stranger, like me.

Here are 11 things we all need you to keep in mind…

1. You never really know how much the people around you are hurting.  You could be standing next to someone who is completely broken inside and you wouldn’t even know it.  So never deprive someone of hope; it might be all they have.  And remember that there are two ways to spread light in this world: You can either be a flame of hope, or a mirror that reflects it.  Be one of the two every chance you get.  
2. The most important trip you will likely take in life is meeting others half way.  You will achieve far more by working with people, rather than against them.  Giving someone else a voice, and showing them that their ideas matter, will have a long-lasting, positive impact on the both of you.
3. Relationships don’t create happiness, they reflect it.  Happiness is an inside job.  Relationships are simply the mirrors of your happiness; they reflect it and help you celebrate it.  They are mirrors because they are a perfect reflection of your thoughts and beliefs.  To reflect means to encourage you when you feel weak and challenge you when you feel strong, thereby returning you to your center.  And to celebrate is to share the natural ease and joy of living from your center – of living in the now with clarity.
4. Compassion comes back around.  The son who tends to his chronically ill mother, ignoring his own exhaustion; the neighbor who gives a helping hand, even as his own needs go unanswered; the one who donates a couple dollars to someone in need, even if she has to break her last five dollar bill to do it.  Maybe you don’t hear the names of these unsung heroes in the news, but surely the universe hears their names and treats them accordingly.
5. Timing is everything.  There is a time for silence, a time to let go and allow your friends to launch themselves into their own destiny, and a time to cheer for their victories, or help them pick up the pieces, when it’s all over.  
6. Actions are the loudest form of communication.  What you do speaks so loud that others will have a hard time hearing what you say.  So practice what you preach or don’t preach at all – walk the talk.  And remember that there is often a major gap between what someone says and what they do.  Characterize people by their actions and you will never be fooled by their words.
7. A healthy relationship keeps the doors and windows open.  Plenty of air is circulating and no one feels trapped.  Relationships thrive in this environment.  Keep your doors and windows open.  If a person is meant to be in your life, all the open doors and windows in the world won’t make them leave.
8. People are more what they keep silent than what they say.  Pay attention to their quiet gestures.  If you cannot understand someone’s silence, you will have a hard time understanding their words. 
9. What others say and do is often based entirely on their own self-reflection.  When you have people speaking to you who are angry and upset, and you nevertheless remain very present and continue to treat them with kindness and respect, you place yourself in a position of great power.  You become a means for the situation to be graciously diffused and healed.  A Zen teacher once said, “When somebody backs themselves into a corner, look the other way until they get themselves out; and then act as though it never happened.”  Allowing people to save face in this way, and not reminding them of what they already know is not their most intelligent behavior, is an act of great kindness.  This is possible when we realize that people behave in such ways because they are in a place of great suffering.  People react to their own thoughts and feelings and their behavior often has nothing directly to do with you.
10. Sincerity is giving without expectation.  Good character and true friendship is all about how a person nurtures another person who is vulnerable and can give nothing in return.  So when you have been through tough times and come out the other side, look around you.  The people still standing beside you are your true friends.
11. Not every relationship is meant to last forever.  Some people aren’t meant to stay in your life.  Some people are just passing through to bring you something – perhaps a lesson you need to learn, or memory that makes you smile years later.  When the time comes, it’s okay to let go and move on with your life. Happy Friday Squammies! Love life Always

Banana Leaf

There are times when you want to pamper yourself, when you want to relax at a place with a pleasant ambiance.. And of course, you want the food to taste good and not burn a hole in your pocket.

That may sound too good to be true but it’s not, because at Banana Leaf I and my family and friends have found such a place.

True to its name, dishes served are to be eaten on banana-leaf, giving customers a unique dining experience. Aside from a decorative touch, and an environmentally friendly plate, a fresh banana leaf skin is believed to aide in digestion.

Waiting for our Banana Lift!!!

Hungry Joey

The service is good, the waitresses were attentive with the requests and they knew almost everything we asked about the dishes. 

Our Barbeque Roasted Whole Baby Back Ribs.. Delicious!

Hainanese Chicken FTW!

I fell in love with every dish that we ordered and would definitely go back and order the food I haven't. Next week, maybe?  See you there!

Animals With Excellent Exercise Habits

These pics are helping me find a little exercise inspiration... or maybe I should say "aww"-spiration? 

Just take a look at these animals who are exercising (well, animals who at least look like they're exercising) and see what I mean.

Don't overeat before a workout:

It's always important to stretch:

Source: flickr.com via Lexi on Pinterest

There's nothing like a good yoga pose to greet the day:

Source: yogaposeoftheday.com via Lexi on Pinterest

Might as well just not worry about your hair:

Source: andreaharner.com via Lexi on Pinterest

Skateboarding totally counts:

Source: browndresswithwhitedots.tumblr.com via Lexi on Pinterest

Balance exercises will help strengthen your core:

Source: myrandomstuff.se via Lexi on Pinterest

Always remember to stay hydrated:

Source: cumback.tumblr.com via Lexi on Pinterest

And it's obviously important to give yourself some recovery time:

Source: flickr.com via Lexi on Pinterest

Gummy bear lovers, tell me: Would you, could you?

Candy-lovers, is there ever a time and a place for a--wait for this--26-pound gummy bear? 

Meet the Party Gummy Bear.

It weighs as much as a small child, and if you have friends over, you can actually set it out on your table like a platter to hold other candy (note the well in the bear's belly). Also, you could slice off sections with a steak knife. But that just seems weird.

The 10 Hottest Ryans Of All Time

It’s come to our attention recently that there are quite a few hot Ryans roaming the earth, with their abs and their grills and their Hey Girls and their father-son soccer games and their cute dates with Blake Lively. You know the ones: Lochte, Reynolds, Phillippe, Gosling…and yet there are more who deserve our love! Lesser-known Ryans, Ryans of decades past, Ryans with the last name of Seacrest – how can so many famous men fit under one two-syllable moniker?

I have chosen my favorites for The 10 Hottest Ryans of All Time for your viewing pleasure below. They are in order from 10-1 because if there’s one thing these Ryans deserve, it is to be ranked! Onward.


1. Ryan Gosling – The One Who Gives Us All The Feels
He is the man who spawned a million memes, the one who rescues people on the streets of New York while looking remarkably good in a tank top, has an adorable mutt, and is about to direct his first feature, which I am already excited to see. He has the best Best Kiss of all time. He farts, and the world responds: “well played.” Is there anyone else who could land this #1 spot?


Um, no.


2. Ryan Lochte – The One Who Should Never Open His Mouth
So handsome, this one. So undeniably good looking, with his abs and rippling thigh muscles, and those god damn dimples that slay me every time. Wave that smile in front of my face like one of those wands in Men In Black and I forget all about the grill, the shoe collection, the Vegas partying, the Hollywood grifting and the general doucheiness that spills out of his mouth faster than you can say: “Jeah.”


3. Ryan Phillippe – The One Who Never Got Off The C List
I know what you’re thinking – “How is Ryan Phillippe ahead of Ryan Reynolds on this here magical list of hot Ryans?!” And my answer is this: Go watch Cruel Intentions one hundred times and then come back to me. If Heathers is the greatest cult movie of the 80s (no question, it IS) then Cruel Intentions is its late 90′s heir. So much of that is owed to Phillippe’s creepy yet charming and seriously sexy performance as a rich kid who sets out to seduce his prep’s school newest student/virgin (played by Reese Witherspoon). And though he’s been in some solid films (Crash, Flags of Our Fathers) most of his work has been limited to “meh” movies, and even those are overshadowed by his relationship drama. But maybe there’s still some oomph left in the guy. Tell me you didn’t watch that Cruel Intentions clip just now and then think to yourself, “CHRISTIAN GREY!” (Also, he’s a kewt dad.)


4. Ryan Reynolds – The One Who Gets The Girls
Ryan Reynolds may be a good actor (sure The Proposal was cute, but have you seen Adventureland? And Fifteen?) but his greatest skill is landing hot women. Yes, a superficial observation for sure, but an accurate one. He is the man who married Scarlett Johansson! The guy who stole Blake Lively away from Leonardo DiSeriousFilmMakerio! Somewhere underneath that sweet smirk is some serious game.


5. Ryan Adams – The One With Indie Cred
The perennial indie rocker is as much of an NYC fixture as Chloe Sevigny and Parker Posey. He is one of our local hometown heroes, slouching around the East Village is his little bell bottom jeans and Lennon-esque glasses. He is nothing if not adorable and damaged – the perfect combination for many a torrid affair with lots of pretty downtown girls. But he got sober and got Mandy Moore and will always be known first and foremost for good rock music.


6. Ryan Dunn – The One We Miss
I debated including Ryan Dunn on this list because it seemed incredibly morbid. But it also seemed horribly unfit to leave him off when he’s been one of my favorite Ryans since he Jackassed into the world back in 2000. Dunn passed away in 2011 in a tragic car accident, but he deserves a spot here for being both adorable and hilarious. As a Jackass junkie (I dare you to find the fansite I made for one of the guys in 2001. It still exists in the tombs off the internet.) Dunn was always a favorite – just so sweet and silly and game for anything. Boy, is he missed. (Watch a sweet video tribute in his honor.)


7. Ryan O’Neal – The One Your Mom Thinks Is Sexy
Yes, an old dude has made it onto our list. Ryan O’Neal is famous for many things – drugs, dating Farrah Fawcett, drugs, fathering Tatum O’Neal, and general family issues (that mostly involve drugs). But he also is an established actor best know for his Oscar-nominated role in Love Story. If you haven’t seen it (the above photo is from the film, co-starring Ali McGraw), get on it – just be sure to watch it while sitting in a boat as your eyes will weep a sea’s worth of tears.


8. Ryan Cabrera – The One Who We Haven’t Thought About Since 2004
Don’t try to hide it, you loved him in the role of Ashlee Simpson‘s boyfriend on her MTV reality show back before she nose-jobbed herself into a sleeker, sexier woman. Sure, his weird, gelled hairdo was insufferable and probably inspired Pauly D years later, but “One The Way Down” was a legitimately good pop song and he’s aged surprisingly well. Maybe his career can catch up?


9. Ryan Sheckler – The One Who Skateboards
Remember the reality show Life of Ryan on MTV a few years? Well that kid with a half pipe in his backyard is now of legal age and seriously handsome. He’s also still raking in the cash with sponsorships, if you’re into gold-digging.


10. Ryan Seacrest – The One Who Made Millions Off The Kardashians
Forbes just named Seacrest the 19th highest paid celebrity of 2012, and he should be, what with his radio show, Idol gig, and the endless sea of Kardashian shows he produces for the E! network. You couldn’t watch the Summer Olympics without seeing him interviewing a tiny gymnast or walking through Ryan Lochte’s giant closet, admiring his watch collection. He’s everywhere, which seems to be just how he likes it.