Do:
- Smile (but not like a serial killer).
- Whip your hair! Back and forth!
- Be open and engaged. Not the "ring" kind. The "friendly" kind.
- Touch nonsexual areas often... although the elbow or something could be mad sexual to some people, right?
- Expose your wrists--they are an erogenous zone. See?
- Tilt your head to the left. Apparently that says "I like you." I guess tilting your head to the right says "I wish I was watching Intervention on my couch right now instead of pretending to care about your hometown."
- Turn your body towards his and nod when he is speaking.
- Text too much.
- Sit on your hands or hunch your shoulders. #derp #Quasimodo?
- Dart your eyes.
- Cross your arms. Which makes sense in a poetic way, because that is kind of like a chastity belt over your heart.
- Stand with your legs crossed. Which makes sense in a literal way, because that is kind of like a chastity belt over your girl equipment.
- Get all up in his space. Freak.
- Rub your nose or slouch.
And he is interested if...
- His eyebrows go up, Groucho-style.
- His pupils dilate (and he's not on drugs).
- His lips part slightly and he looks you up and down.
- You are his sole focus of attention.
- He touches himself while looking at you (not like that--just a simple shirt-tug or hair-smooth.)
- Posturing, e.g. straightening up and leaning his chest toward you. Like a peacock that uses Old Spice.
- If he looks at you and says anything along the lines of "Oh my God, what is that?"
- Screaming.
- Flailing.
- Sudden feigned interest in something in another state, followed by hasty dash to door.
- Repeated reminders that he is, in fact, a gay man. A long shot, but he just might be trying to tell you something.
