The Full 50 Shades of Grey Trailer Is Finally Here

Forget Mr. Grey finally seeing you—you're finally getting to see him. A few days after Beyonce 'grammed the tease watched round the world, the full trailer dropped last Thursday. Yeah, if you ever wondered whether Jamie Dornan was the right choice for the role, those doubts are about to melt away. Emphasis on melt. Enjoy.

And Now, Your Fifty Shades Movie Update

Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey have been cast, we've seen a first peek at them in character, and now, finally, Fifty Shades of Grey has begun filming. So, of course, it follows that frequent updates will be pouring in until the day we finally get to sit down and watch the dang thing. And buckle up, because this week is chock-full of brand-new Fifty Shades goodies:

First up, as I mentioned before, filming has begun!

But that's not all: Check out Jamie and Dakota in action filming what seems to be a very dramatic and sexy tea party.



Hey, tea is sexy, I promise. In other news, Rita Ora is adding a slash-actress to her pop-star status—she's been cast as Mia, Christian's adopted sister.



But even more interesting: There are rumors floating about that producers are considering releasing two versions of the movie—one rated R, of course, and one more explicit with a NC-17 status. Interesting.

So, tell me, which version would you see? The mainstream version or the racier one or both?

Fifty Shames Of Earl Grey

So, you’ve feverishly read through most of E.L. James’ Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy — that third one takes some work, right — the movie is eons away, and now you’re getting kind of tired of seeing everyone, their mother and their brother-in-law reading the books on the train, the plane and everywhere in between. What’s next? Fifty Shames of Earl Grey by the pseudonymous Fanny Merkin (a.k.a. book blogger Andrew Shaffer) is kind of the perfect beach read for the end of summer and the end of your obsession. 

If you have cleared fantasies of Christian and Ana and the Red Room of Pain from your mind, you might be starting to see the absurdities of the books’ plot and characters — how does no one call the authorities on Christian’s stalkerish behavior? How would a publishing company hire a girl fresh out of college to be an editor, regardless of who owns the place? The list goes on. Earl Grey just takes those absurdities a little further with the story of Anna Steal and Earl Grey. 

The skeleton of the plot is the same, but the details are hilariously exaggerated. Anna’s roommate, “a total B,” is Kathleen Kraven, an alcoholic 38-year-old writer for Boardroom Hotties. Their friend Jin is a Brony, Before her interview of Earl, she has actually never ridden in an elevator because “we don’t have elevators in Portland.” Anna works at Walmart. Earl Grey buys Walmart in his efforts to impress/control her. Oh, and he’s not into your average BDSM — his version stands for “Bards, Dragons, Sorcery and Magick,” as in very sexy LARP-ing.

Of course, there are also sex scenes, which are even funnier than the rest, thanks to Earl’s Room of Doom, which Anna dubs the Dorm Room of Doom due to its black-light posters, incense and waterbed, and Anna’s smelly feet. But Anna certainly enjoys her experience in there: “The only other time I’ve felt this good is when I shot smack with Kathleen,” she thinks to herself. And oh, her thoughts to herself — thankfully unaided by any goddesses or glasses-wearing librarians — they’re full of silly observations that totally make the book.

“Most times,” she confesses to Earl, “my mind is just an ongoing, present-tense, first-person monologue. It’s like I’m writing a novel, constantly, but only in my brain. A really bad novel.”

But don’t worry, Fifty fans, none of this humor is mean-spirited. It’s more loving homage, meant purely for those who have already read the original and need to make fun of themselves for getting so wrapped up in it.