Gwyneth Paltrow Spends New Year Busting A Move On Stage With Jay-Z And Chris Martin

We know that Gwyneth Paltrow likes herself some gangster rap and hip-hop. You’ve seen her freestyle with Cameron Diaz and you’ve seen her bust out Gangsta Gangsta on The Graham Norton Show. You also know she’s BFF with Jay-Z. And her husband is Chris Martin who is pretty much all of Coldplay. So none of what is to follow should come as a surprise and yet it does. Perhaps it’s envy? Perhaps it’s actually seeing Gwyneth who is sp perfectly manicured all the time, dance? Coldplay and Jay co-headlined a massive New Years Eve show at the Barclays Center in Brooklyn and Martin joined Hov for Run This Town. It’s all in the video you see above, and you’ll even see Gwynny and Chris’ two kids, Apple and Moses, provide back-up support for their Uncle Jay. And if you look to the right, you’ll see Gwyneth bobbing up and down, shaking her (non-existent) booty, blond ponytail high in the air, swigging champagne and livin’ the life. And then you’ll see hubby Chris jumping around stage — loosely defined as “dancing” — and you’ll be thinking … when will Hov’s swagger rub off on them? Possibly never, but that’s okay. We like bad but enthusiastic dancers!

Hosted By Jay-Z's Sister

As far as I know, the last time Jay-Z took the subway, he did it as a publicity stunt and that was over two long months ago. Jay-Z forgot something very important down there: his beloved sister! Jay-Z's sister has been waiting for him down in the subway and she finally got tired of waiting and came back up to the surface. Luckily for Jay-Z's sister, local news reporter Checkey Beckford was there for her when she got out of the subway. Checkey Beckford will take care of Jay-Z's sister since he obviously doesn't care about her and left her in the subway. Jay-Z's sister should be the famous multi-millionaire who's married to a Knowles, not him.

HOW DOES THIS WOMAN LOOK THIS GOOD?

Here is Beyonce at the after-party for husband and baby daddy Jay-Z’s Carnegie Hall show last night. It’s the first time we’ve seen her since she “had” the “baby.” I’m kidding, of course, she “did” have the baby! And she looks stunning. It’s a look that combined some flattering ruching with a side of Tom Spanx.

But seriously… did she stuff her underwear with some extra padding RuPaul style to pull of that fit mama look? I mean, I can gain 10 pounds in 2 days if the price was right. (That price being zero dollars.) In other words, let the conspiracy theories begin! 

What Beyonce’s Baby Will Look Like..

At the VMAs, Beyonce Knowles revealed the baby bump heard round the world, while her babydaddy, Jay-Z, beamed ear to ear from the audience. It was one of those historic, planned-by-a-publicist moments that makes you look down at your own womb and feel so, so empty. But on the bright side, we now have a new celebrity spawn to worship!! Which can only mean one thing: Speculating what their baby is going to look like!

US forensic artist Joe Mullins has used the latest computer technology found in Sandra Bullock’s The Net to figure out what their kid will most definitely look like as a toddler. And Joe left no forensic sketch unturned, as he even had the horse sense to give their future beautiful baby girl (maybe) a luxurious blond head of hair, just like her Mom! She’s even wearing gigantic chandelier earrings! 

You know, I bet you Beyonce’s baby has that same look in the womb right now. Her sonogram is all like:

But what if this brilliant musical spawn ends up being a boy?

Aww, he’s adorable! And his hearing… nobody hears better than this kid.