Things Girls Always Do in INDIE Movies But NEVER Do in real life

Cue up your favorite twee tune and visualize your favorite angsty bang-rocking actress: it's time to talk things girls are always doin' in indie movies but never doin' in real life. Well, maybe they do these things in real life sometimes, but I doubt they could get away with 'em all at once.

They love vintage stuff, 'specially quirky props. A sixteen-year-old girl with a pipe? Preposterous!

All of their day jobs are either 1) bartender 2) bookstore employee or 3) office worker in an office where nobody knows the true them.

They never work out, but somehow they're super-skinny. (Also, pants are constantly off, but socks are perpetually on. Why?)

They always know the song/artist/particular lyric the cute guy is talking about. Often they'll even shout it out just when he does, then give a coy little smile. And it doesn't matter what it is, they've got it on vinyl.

And don't think they're listening to it via normal-sized headphones. HELL no.

I don't want to spoil any plot points, but they usually don't love weddings. Any weddings they do have or attend will be a) outdoors b) full of beards c) lit solely by paper lanterns and votives inside mason jars.

Not sure how I got this far without mentioning this, but: they ride bikes.

They attract men by the dozen without ever wearing a bra or washing their hair.

Which is weird--the aversion to hair-washing, I mean--because they definitely don't mind water. If there's rain, they're gonna laugh joyfully (life!) in it.

And if there's a pool, best believe they're going to spontaneously jump into it.

They draw. An indie movie heroine might already be an Artist, but it's more probable that she's just a SECRET artist and it's not until a guy comes over to her apartment, accidentally discovers some sketches ("What are these?" "Nothing!") and pronounces them "reeeeally good" that things start to take off.

And speaking of their apartments: they're always tapestry-strewn and full of whimsy. Now please get out because they need their space. 

They can't do this, OK? They just... can't.