The Best and Worst Moments of the 2013 Oscars

This year's Academy Awards were so insanely long—though, to be fair, aren't they always?—that I won't keep you any longer. Let's get right into it with our best and worst moments of the night! 

Best: Seth MacFarlane: Not the Worst Oscars Host Ever

Unlike his fake Entertainment Weekly headline, I don't think he was the "worst Oscars host ever." Kudos to him for acknowledging that nobody can beat Amy Poehler and Tina Fey as hosts—did you all miss them too?—and yes, I laughed at the "We Saw Your Boobs" song. (I have the humor of a 12-year-old boy. Whatever.) There were some groan-worthy jokes (um, that Lincoln one about John Wilkes Booth...) and the intro was waaaay too long, but overall he was charming and way more interesting and entertaining than Anne Hathaway + James Franco.

Worst: That Jaws Theme Song Send-Off

Rude. Was it supposed to be funny? It just felt terrifying.

Best: The Musical Tribute That Saved the Show

The show was starting to lag when... BOOM! Musical theater! Nothing will save a show like jazz hands. But there were so many things to love: Catherine Zeta-Jones looked FIERCE in the Chicago tribute, Jennifer Hudson brought the house down singing "And I'm Telling You" from Dreamgirls (aka the one and only time Beyonce didn't rule the world).

And the Les Mis tribute was INCREDIBLE!!! There were flags! And Eddie Redmayne! And it sounds like Russell Crowe has been practicing his singing! And I'm sorry to say this, but thank God Anne Hathaway changed her dress, even if it was temporary.

Best: Adele. Need I Say More?

Her performance reminded me why I love the Grammys so much—these musical numbers really break the show up, especially when it's a song and artist as talented as A-freaking-dele. Only downside: was she wearing talon nails? Her winning speech for the Oscar was so cute too: "Love you baby!" Halfway to an EGOT! 

Worst: Can We Go to Bed Now?

I've already mentioned this a million times, but can we please make these things shorter?

Best: Jennifer Lawrence for Best Actress!

I love her so much, it kind of feels like my best friend just won. And she had to go and make it doubly cute by tripping as she walked up. Was that Hugh Jackman that rushed up to help her? I hope so. 

Other Observations:

-I would totally go see a buddy-cop musical starring Daniel Radcliffe and Joseph Gordon-Levitt.
-Love that the Brave director wore a kilt: "I didn't plan any of this..."
-Hot guy parade with The Avengers crew. But where was Chris Hemsworth? Ain't no party without Thor.
-Wait, Lucius Malfoy won an Oscar?!?!

-Shew, Shirley Bassey has still got it. As much as I love Adele, I'm glad they didn't bring her out for the Bond tribute. That was Shirley's moment.
-Dumb question, but how did they do that Ted bear presenting the award? Was it CGI or was there a person in there? It just looked so real.
-A TIE for sound editing!? Apparently it's possible, but woah.
-Anne Hathaway's speech sounded slightly rehearsed, but she was totally adorable nonetheless. #LesMisForever
-Streisand looked fantastic, but you already knew that.
-In case you were confused about all of the Chicago references, the producers of the Oscars also produced the movie. So, there you have it.
-Best Moment: Jamie Foxx's confused face during Quentin Tarantino's speech.
-Um, did Meryl scratch her butt when she walked out to present Best Actor? Whatever, we've all been there.
-Who knew Daniel Day-Lewis was so funny? Comedy hour over here.
-What up, Michelle Obama! Best dressed of the night, in my opinion.
-Argo for the win! 

And that's a wrap, folks.